Planning for the future...again

I'm a planner. I plan what I'm going to do each day and I definitely plan what my future will look like. This obsession with planning makes medical school admissions that much more infuriating since everything is so much out of my control.

Since this cycle is not turning out very well for me, I've begun thinking of the worst case scenario so I can plan my life accordingly. That scenario would be not getting into medical school this year.

I've come up with a plan on how to deal with that and here it is:

Take a couple of years off and reapply. Again.

It's not a very unique plan but one that I'm slowly coming to terms with. I like where I live and I like that my brother lives nearby. I have friends whom I have known for a long time and a life that is very comfortable.

So although I would much rather be in medical school a year from now, the alternative is not too awful and something I am starting to accept.

Another day, another waitlist

The title says it all.

I'm 4 for 4 in terms of interviews leading to waitlist positions, if you include my last cycle. This makes me think that I suck at interviewing (which I sometimes do), but in at least two of those cases I had very little chance of getting in post-interview.

My most recent waitlist decision came from the second school at which I interviewed this cycle. The dean of admissions told us during the interview day that we really only had a 10% chance of getting accepted after interviewing. They just bring in a bunch of people to interview for very few spots in the class.

So yeah, I didn't hold out much hope with this school. It still stings, though, and I'm not any closer to starting medical school in the fall. In fact, I'm down to three schools which can offer me admission, but really only two since I killed my chances of an acceptance at one of them due to a brain fart during the interview.

Let's hope my last interview goes really well because I really don't want to apply yet again.

Other lowlights

There were a couple other hiccups during that interview that make for a good self-deprecating blog post.

For one, when asked about a time I broke a regulation or a rule in a position of responsibility, I said I put a kid in a kayak instead of a row boat during summer camp, which is a big deal for the Boy Scouts (I gave him the context for the situation). I don't think he saw it as that.

Also, in response to a question about what I would do differently in college, I said I would've taken advantage of more opportunities that my undergraduate institution offered, as well as do better in my classes. He summarized that as, "So you'd do more activities," making it sound like I still wouldn't focus on doing well in school given another chance.

Lastly, I told the interviewer that I essentially ratted out a colleague to his supervisors when he said something inappropriate. The only reason I said anything to the higher-ups was because the colleague's comments were a common theme among members of the organization and I wanted to change things overall. I don't think it came off that way.

All in all, I didn't do too terribly and I'm hoping some of my other answers offset the Jehovah's Witness situation and that that comment didn't sink my entire application. I doubt there's any recovering from such a horrendous response, but there's always hope.

On the other hand, my interviewer did say that my interview went well as I shook his hand on my way out of the office. He was probably just letting me down gently.

Epic fail

My interview at the school that is currently at the top of my list was, shall I say, interesting.

The highlight (if you're considering debacle-value) or lowlight (when considering my chances of admission) of the interview came when my interviewer asked what I would do if a kid was bleeding out and his parents were refusing a blood transfusion because they are Jehovah's Witnesses.

Usually I'm really good at these ethical situations but the kid thing threw me for a loop. Parents technically have the ultimate say for the treatment of young kids. But I know there have been court cases that have challenged that, with parents even being prosecuted for letting their kids die by withholding life-saving medical care.

The Jehovah's Witness thing also didn't help since religious beliefs are often protected and get you out of a lot of morally questionable things. But again, religion cannot be an excuse for essentially killing a child who legally can't make decisions for himself.

Based on the title of this post, you can probably guess what I ended up saying. My ultimate answer (once the interviewer pressed me into giving him one, since I avoided answering the question directly by talking around the answer but not making any sort of decision) was that I would honor the parents' wishes.

As soon as that came out of my mouth, I knew it was the wrong thing to say, but it was too late to take it back. The interviewer replied, "So you'd let the kid die." In an attempt to somewhat fix the situation I responded with, "Well, I wouldn't just let him die. I'd do everything in my power to save his life." It clearly wasn't enough as I saw the interviewer scribble "die" in his notes. Not good.

I looked it up afterwards hoping that there was something out there supporting my erroneous position on the matter. Instead, I found that I was wrong in my decision. Dead wrong (pardon the pun).

Apparently, doctors are "obligated to follow federal and state regulations for the care of minors. While regulations vary from state to state, and from institution to institution, children under the age of 18 generally cannot be denied a blood transfusion when it is considered a life saving therapy."

There you have it. I just killed a kid, and I want to be a doctor.

Like I've said before, I do fantastically well during 90% of my interviews. It's those 10% of answers like this one that get me placed on the waitlist, or in this case, most likely rejected.

That's too bad because I really liked this school.

Love or hate

My interview earlier this week went fantastically well. The interviewer was in love with my activities and said she could talk about my application for hours if she could, but we had to get back to the standard interview questions. I hope my answers impressed her sufficiently to get me an acceptance to this school.

Her reaction is in stark contrast to the one I got from my dream school interviewer last cycle. She was very suspicious of the fact that I'm just now deciding on medicine and grilled me on this for several questions. Also, one of my pre-med advisors is super gung-ho about my past while another one has openly said she wouldn't invite me for an interview based on my application.

Apparently, my non-traditional status is either loved or hated by interviewers. There is no in between. Hopefully my next interviewer is in the "love" category because the school I'm about to visit is very high on my list.

Verbal diarrhea

During the student panel at my second interview, I asked if there were a lot of non-traditional students in the class. The 23-year-old second year started talking about all the kids that were her age and that even though three out of the four panelists were older, there were plenty of people in the class that were straight out of undergrad.

I waited until it was polite to interrupt and clarified my question by saying I was in my late 20s*. I then continued on (because I like to babble when I'm nervous) and pointed to the 27-year-olds, telling them I wanted to be their friends. Just like that. While awkward, it was better than what had begun coming out of my mouth, which was that I don't really want to hang out with 22-year-olds all day.

I guess I was stunned that she thought I was straight out of college, which is what prompted the nearly uncontrolled babbling. But I'm really glad I have a filter when it counts.

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*I gave them an actual age, but in a thinly veiled attempt at blog anonymity, I won't be specific about that here.

Pushing through

Monday starts a marathon of interviews, with three in the next ten days or so, and I can't wait for it all to be over.

I'm not very good at selling myself, which probably explains why I've been waitlisted at three out of the four interviews I've attended in the last year (I haven't heard from the fourth, so I could very well be four for four in waitlists). Also, I honestly don't learn any more about the schools while I'm there than what I could get from their website. Visiting these medical schools seems like a colossal waste of money.

I realize that there's a "vibe" I can get and the mythical "fit" that I should look for. But how much can I really get out of spending 24 hours in a city, most of it in transit or at a hotel? And the impression I get of the school is nearly wholly dependent on the attitudes of the individual students that show up to the admissions office on the day of my visit.

All in all, I really hate interviewing. But I need to get rid of this attitude because my future depends entirely on how I present myself to random strangers.

This is the final push*. I just have to make it through the next couple of weeks and I'll be free.

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*While it's very possible that I will get more interview invitations, I'm not really counting on it. I submitted my application fairly early so if I haven't heard back by now from schools, then I've probably been looked over. Hence this being the final push.