Success is the sweetest revenge

When I came to terms with having to reapply to med school last year, I went to my pre-med advisor to ask her about amending my school list from the previous year. This is not the nice advisor I like going to but the one who I'm convinced really dislikes me. Unfortunately, she's the one who knows which medical schools prefer which kind of applicant (or so she says), so I had no choice.

The words, "You should not apply this cycle," "You are at a high risk of dropping out of medical school," and, "If I were an admissions committee member, I would not offer you an interview," all came out of her mouth during the course of our 30-minute meeting. She strongly suggested I take the year off to strengthen my application and apply during the next cycle instead. To say I was surprised would be a huge understatement.

She somewhat had a point. I hadn't done much of anything to improve my application in the year since I submitted the original one. The only real change I made was that I applied early instead of super late, which could be a game-changer in and of itself. But as Ms. D (for Debby Downer) pointed out, my lack of interviews last cycle could definitely be due to a weak application and not because of the tardiness of my submission.

I walked out of that meeting unsure of myself. I hadn't had my world rocked that hard in a very long time, thinking I was doing well when in fact I was told I suck. Part of me thinks she was unnecessarily harsh and didn't need to crush my dreams so much. But there was also some truth to her comments, meaning there was a chance I wasn't going to get accepted the second time around either, which at the time was rather disconcerting.

Now that I have been accepted to medical school, though, I am so glad I didn't let her words discourage me from applying this year. Additionally, I'm glad I didn't listen to her suggestions for my school list, because School E and two other schools I interviewed at this cycle would not have received my application.

In short, Ms. D can suck it. I'm going to medical school!

Old posts popping up

Pardon the old posts that have been published recently. They have been sitting in my drafts folder for a while, waiting for that last perfect sentence to make them whole. Kidding. I just started writing and got distracted before finishing them.

Instead of further adding to those posts, I'm publishing them as they are, on the date that they were originally written. That means they are backdated and don't necessarily go with the flow of what's currently going on in my life.

Enjoy them regardless. They are not any less than the ones that have been published already.

This is really happening!

I'm having wrist surgery soon (I hurt myself again) and as the surgeon and I were discussing my MRI at my pre-op appointment it hit me that in 10 years, I will be in my doctor's shoes: diagnosing patients and then operating on them.* In fact, in 5-6 years I'll be doing some sort of operating with supervision. That's absolutely terrifying.

Ten years is a long time and a lot can happen between now and then. But it's still scary to have a definitive time frame for when I'll be doing doctory things on my own. This is actually happening and it's no longer just a pipe dream. It's crazy.

Also, the highlight of this operation is that I'm just getting a nerve block** instead of general anesthesia so I'll be awake for the whole thing.

I kind of want to ask my surgeon if I can watch. It'll be like shadowing in the OR but better.

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*I'm not set on any particular specialty yet because I'm well aware that it can (and most likely will) change over the next several years. However, based on how I like to do things and the way I think, I'm pretty sure I'll end up in some sort of surgical specialty, or at the very least something heavily procedural.

** More specifically, I'm getting a Bier block, which in and of itself is pretty cool. They take all the blood out of your arm through the use of elastic bandages and gravity, and keep it out with pneumatic tourniquets. Then anesthetic is injected through an IV near the wrist and sets into the tissues for about 20 minutes, at which point the tourniquets are deflated and bloodflow returns to the arm. Or, if the procedure is short enough, then they leave the tourniquets on and operate in a bloodless field. So cool!

I've never been exsanguinated before. This might be my new "Two Thruths and a Lie" truth.

These are a few of my favorite specialties

I know it's way too early to lock myself into a specialty, but since I've been mentioning orthopedics on here a lot, I figured I'd talk about specialty choices more thoroughly.

I have no idea what I'll end up doing about four years from now, but I'm pretty sure I'll either be operating or doing lots of procedures. I'm a fixer and I like being able to see the products of my work.

I've taken a few "How to choose a specialty?" quizzes over the years and the following are nearly always in the top ten (in no particular order):

• Orthopedics
• ENT
• Pulmomary Medicine
• Surgery - General
• Radiology - Diagnostic
• Thoracic Surgery

I'm really curious to see where I'll end up in 4+ years!

I'm in!

I've been accepted to medical school!

As I opened my email to respond to yet another position on a waitlist (from the brain fart school, who didn't see that one coming?), I saw a new message in my inbox. I skipped the subject line and instead read the body of the text first. In all the mumbo jumbo of the first paragraph, it dawned on me that I'd been accepted to medical school.

I had a good feeling about this school since I had a fantastic interview and the post-interview acceptance statistics were in my favor (they take ~75% of the people they interview). But I was cautiously optimistic since I've been burned in the past, and I didn't expect to hear back so soon. So the email caught me off guard.

I was at my volunteer gig at the hospital at the time and I turned to the nurse sitting next to me and cautiously said, "I think I've just been accepted to medical school." I'm sure the confused look on my face wasn't convincing because she asked me to repeat myself. After-all, we had just been talking about the third waitlist I'd received the day before. I was still processing this acceptance so I think the nurses were more excited about this whole thing than I was.

I was simply relieved. I had always believed that I would get into medical school but so far no one that mattered (admissions committee members) had thought the same. So with the acceptance came relief: Relief that someone wanted me at their medical school and even more relief that this terrible process was finally over. As Gwyneth Paltrow said at the Oscars many years ago, "You like me. You really like me!"

Anywhos, I'm super stoked! Not only am I actually going to medical school, but this is also my top choice school (let's call it School E). The former dream school (local med school) has fallen from grace in recent months and was nearly definitively replaced by School E after my interview. Even brain fart school, which had been my top choice this cycle, was knocked down a couple of pegs after that interview. I was simply blown away by School E's program, its students, the city, the culture, everything.

So yeah, life is pretty epic right now.

Planning for the future...again

I'm a planner. I plan what I'm going to do each day and I definitely plan what my future will look like. This obsession with planning makes medical school admissions that much more infuriating since everything is so much out of my control.

Since this cycle is not turning out very well for me, I've begun thinking of the worst case scenario so I can plan my life accordingly. That scenario would be not getting into medical school this year.

I've come up with a plan on how to deal with that and here it is:

Take a couple of years off and reapply. Again.

It's not a very unique plan but one that I'm slowly coming to terms with. I like where I live and I like that my brother lives nearby. I have friends whom I have known for a long time and a life that is very comfortable.

So although I would much rather be in medical school a year from now, the alternative is not too awful and something I am starting to accept.

Another day, another waitlist

The title says it all.

I'm 4 for 4 in terms of interviews leading to waitlist positions, if you include my last cycle. This makes me think that I suck at interviewing (which I sometimes do), but in at least two of those cases I had very little chance of getting in post-interview.

My most recent waitlist decision came from the second school at which I interviewed this cycle. The dean of admissions told us during the interview day that we really only had a 10% chance of getting accepted after interviewing. They just bring in a bunch of people to interview for very few spots in the class.

So yeah, I didn't hold out much hope with this school. It still stings, though, and I'm not any closer to starting medical school in the fall. In fact, I'm down to three schools which can offer me admission, but really only two since I killed my chances of an acceptance at one of them due to a brain fart during the interview.

Let's hope my last interview goes really well because I really don't want to apply yet again.

Other lowlights

There were a couple other hiccups during that interview that make for a good self-deprecating blog post.

For one, when asked about a time I broke a regulation or a rule in a position of responsibility, I said I put a kid in a kayak instead of a row boat during summer camp, which is a big deal for the Boy Scouts (I gave him the context for the situation). I don't think he saw it as that.

Also, in response to a question about what I would do differently in college, I said I would've taken advantage of more opportunities that my undergraduate institution offered, as well as do better in my classes. He summarized that as, "So you'd do more activities," making it sound like I still wouldn't focus on doing well in school given another chance.

Lastly, I told the interviewer that I essentially ratted out a colleague to his supervisors when he said something inappropriate. The only reason I said anything to the higher-ups was because the colleague's comments were a common theme among members of the organization and I wanted to change things overall. I don't think it came off that way.

All in all, I didn't do too terribly and I'm hoping some of my other answers offset the Jehovah's Witness situation and that that comment didn't sink my entire application. I doubt there's any recovering from such a horrendous response, but there's always hope.

On the other hand, my interviewer did say that my interview went well as I shook his hand on my way out of the office. He was probably just letting me down gently.

Epic fail

My interview at the school that is currently at the top of my list was, shall I say, interesting.

The highlight (if you're considering debacle-value) or lowlight (when considering my chances of admission) of the interview came when my interviewer asked what I would do if a kid was bleeding out and his parents were refusing a blood transfusion because they are Jehovah's Witnesses.

Usually I'm really good at these ethical situations but the kid thing threw me for a loop. Parents technically have the ultimate say for the treatment of young kids. But I know there have been court cases that have challenged that, with parents even being prosecuted for letting their kids die by withholding life-saving medical care.

The Jehovah's Witness thing also didn't help since religious beliefs are often protected and get you out of a lot of morally questionable things. But again, religion cannot be an excuse for essentially killing a child who legally can't make decisions for himself.

Based on the title of this post, you can probably guess what I ended up saying. My ultimate answer (once the interviewer pressed me into giving him one, since I avoided answering the question directly by talking around the answer but not making any sort of decision) was that I would honor the parents' wishes.

As soon as that came out of my mouth, I knew it was the wrong thing to say, but it was too late to take it back. The interviewer replied, "So you'd let the kid die." In an attempt to somewhat fix the situation I responded with, "Well, I wouldn't just let him die. I'd do everything in my power to save his life." It clearly wasn't enough as I saw the interviewer scribble "die" in his notes. Not good.

I looked it up afterwards hoping that there was something out there supporting my erroneous position on the matter. Instead, I found that I was wrong in my decision. Dead wrong (pardon the pun).

Apparently, doctors are "obligated to follow federal and state regulations for the care of minors. While regulations vary from state to state, and from institution to institution, children under the age of 18 generally cannot be denied a blood transfusion when it is considered a life saving therapy."

There you have it. I just killed a kid, and I want to be a doctor.

Like I've said before, I do fantastically well during 90% of my interviews. It's those 10% of answers like this one that get me placed on the waitlist, or in this case, most likely rejected.

That's too bad because I really liked this school.

Love or hate

My interview earlier this week went fantastically well. The interviewer was in love with my activities and said she could talk about my application for hours if she could, but we had to get back to the standard interview questions. I hope my answers impressed her sufficiently to get me an acceptance to this school.

Her reaction is in stark contrast to the one I got from my dream school interviewer last cycle. She was very suspicious of the fact that I'm just now deciding on medicine and grilled me on this for several questions. Also, one of my pre-med advisors is super gung-ho about my past while another one has openly said she wouldn't invite me for an interview based on my application.

Apparently, my non-traditional status is either loved or hated by interviewers. There is no in between. Hopefully my next interviewer is in the "love" category because the school I'm about to visit is very high on my list.