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Friday, May 4, 2012

Burned out

I am 100% checked out of school right now. I just don't have it in me to study anymore. I have a biochemistry final tomorrow and I literally need to talk myself into opening my notes, otherwise it's just not going to get done.

And it's not that feeling of "I know it all and am bored with having to go over it again." I wish that was the case.

Instead, I'm overwhelmed by the volume of material covered on this exam and I have no desire to even attempt to learn it. That, and I don't believe my grade on the final will make any significant difference in my final letter grade. As long as I know the stuff well enough and don't completely bomb the final, I will keep the grade I currently have. So there goes that motivation.

I don't know what it is about this class that makes me feel so done. The whole biochem series has been incredibly frustrating for me, mostly because my grades haven't really reflected the degree to which I understand and know the material. I'm not blaming anyone but myself for this mess that is my grade, which makes the feeling even worse. I just have to keep telling myself that 2 Bs are not going to sink my medical school application. (Here is my justification for being so neurotic these days, because I didn't used to be this way.)

I am so done that at this point I'd much rather be studying for the MCAT or filling out my AMCAS. I am that much over school.

(Yes, this post is whiny. That's what happens when I get grumpy.)

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