Details of a non-traditional medical school application

I'm a non-traditional medical school applicant ("non-trad" in med speak) in that I have spent some time in the real world between graduating from college and applying to medical school. It's been nearly 7 years at this point and I have done a wide variety of things in that time, some of them medicine-related but most of them not at all.

A commenter asked me to elaborate on my activities and what I put on my AMCAS, so here it goes. I don't particularly like lists so instead you get an abridged version of my adult life story, even though it may not seem very abridged. Everything I mention below is in one way or another presented in my primary application. So you're getting essentially what the adcoms got when they received my application, with some flowery commentary thrown in for good measure.

Bright College Years:
My major was in the natural sciences, so a lot of the requirements for my B.S. overlapped with those required for medical school. At the time, it was great to knock out both sets of requirements but in retrospect, I wish I had stayed far away from any BCPM classes during undergrad. I would've had a much easier time getting into medical school that way. But alas, I don't have a time machine so the past remains unchanged as much as I wish otherwise.

As a natural extension of my academic interest in medicine, I began getting involved clinically my freshman year. I volunteered as an EMT at a 911-only ambulance service a couple of towns away from my undergrad campus. Since I was never cleared to drive the ambulance, all of my hours were spent providing direct patient care. Over the course of the three years I spent in EMS, I acquired something like 1,700 hours of clinical community service. It was awesome and is one of the major reasons I am pursuing medicine as a career. I listed it as a meaningful activity and elaborated further on the previous statement.

Other extracurriculars included rugby, which I also listed as a most meaningful activity on my AMCAS, sailing, and Habitat for Humanity, which I had been involved with in high school and continued to work with in college.

Gap Year(s):
I went abroad after graduation and spent the next year and a half sailing the high seas, working in a café, playing rugby, moving to another country whose language I didn't speak, working for food and wine, all before finally coming back stateside to work at a summer camp. Again, this all went into my AMCAS application.

For those ~18 months, I did nothing that went anywhere near medicine. I simply had fun. I learned a lot about myself during that time and a lot of those experiences led me to apply to medical school, all of which I discussed in my personal statement.

I came back to the U.S. because my money ran out (working for food and wine doesn't go far with regard to savings) and because I was tired of living out of a suitcase. I wanted my own sofa and I couldn't have that with my nomadic lifestyle. This part was not in my application, for obvious reasons. I don't think I actually told med schools why I moved back. Only one interviewer has ever asked and I gave her a more eloquent and mature answer, one which didn't involve a sofa.

The Real World:
Unbeknownst to me, the town I moved to after the summer camp experience was a Mecca for the career I had planned to pursue at the time. I hadn't come around to medicine quite yet and was instead focused on working in the industry of my undergrad major.

I got a job in research full-time at the local university and have been here ever since. While the experiences I have had as a member of this research group have been incredible (see the trip to Alaska and other deployments to equally exotic locations), I have ultimately realized that this career is not for me and that I needed to find something else to do.

As soon as I began thinking about medical school again, I started volunteering at the hospital where I've been lucky enough to have direct contact with both patients and physicians. I also enrolled in pre-med classes at the same university I work at since I had to take or retake nearly all of the med school pre-requisites.

I have continued to be heavily involved in rugby as well as with Habitat for Humanity.

Lastly, I went on a medical mission trip with the U.S. Navy to Southeast Asia for a month about a year ago. I have a well-documented interest in international outreach so this wasn't simply a box-checking activity. Instead, it was the perfect combination of the things I'm passionate about: international missions, boats, and medicine. It opened my eyes to how international medicine is really done and somewhat changed what I had envisioned as my future career in medicine.

How all of this is perceived by adcoms (people that matter):
Like I've mentioned before, my application is either loved or hated by the powers that be. I have yet to get a neutral reaction to my experiences and journey to med school. One interviewer has grilled me on why now, how I know I won't quit again, and the like, while a pre-med advisor (Ms. D) simply doesn't like me for reasons I can't explain.

For the most part, though, interviewers were curious and excited to discuss the reasons behind my adventures and wanted to know why I finally came back to medicine after so many years pursuing vastly different things.

I don't think there are any "required" extracurriculars or activities for non-trads. I've known people who got in with very little recent volunteering or practically no research. However, it seems like you need to have one or the other, or a very valid reason for being light in those areas such as family, job, or other pressures. I happened to have both research and volunteering, although I didn't have any publications even though I worked for ~5 years as a research assistant, which I know hurt me at some schools.

My advice to other non-traditional applicants is to first and foremost focus on your grades and MCAT. Those are the most important things in your application. Then, do clinical volunteering/work and shadowing, and maybe get some research in if that's your thing. Primarily, you need to show that you can handle the academic workload. Secondly, you need to be able to show that you know what you're getting yourself into and having those activities on your application will go far in convincing adcoms that you're making an educated decision to pursue medicine.

Generally, activities of non-trads are not more heavily scrutinized per se but rather the reasons behind those decisions are questioned more intensely. It's a lot harder to quit another career to pursue medicine than it is to apply to med school as a junior in college so adcoms want to know why, why, why. In your applications, but more importantly in your interviews, make sure you can convincingly communicate why you switched to medicine and have some evidence/stories to back that up.

Be prepared to discuss any deficiencies you may have in your application, even if the reason that your undergrad grades sucked was because you were young and stupid. Own up to your mistakes and let interviewers know that you've learned from them and that you're better for it.

I'm not an expert on medical school admissions for traditional or non-traditional students by any means. After-all, I've been placed on 5 waitlists and only accepted to one school after applying twice. So take everything I say with a grain of salt.

However, the above "advice" is based on a lot of research on the subject both from SDN (there really is some good stuff there if you wade through the bullshit) and from talking with a lot of people. I haven't always heeded my own advice but now I know better and hope that this helps you, dear commenter.

If you have any other questions, don't hesitate to write below and I'll try to elaborate further.

Why I didn't get accepted last cycle

A commenter asked today why I think I didn't get in last cycle so here is my very long-winded (as always) explanation.

I believe there are several reasons for my many rejections, in order of effect on my application:

1. Late submission of secondary essays
2. Bombing interviews
3. Low GPA, both cumulative and science
4. Insufficient activities (up for debate)

Late submission of secondary essays:
The most significant one is the first: my applications were complete very, very late. I was verified by AMCAS by the first week of August, which is actually still fine. However, I took my time submitting my secondary essays and that's what really cost me.

Most of them were submitted in mid-September, meaning my application wasn't complete until October or even November. By that point, many interview invitations had already been given out and I was competing with more applicants for fewer spots. Not good odds with my numbers.

Bombing interviews:
I did receive two interview invitations and both of them resulted in waitlist positions. These were the two schools at which I submitted my secondary applications relatively early (within two weeks of receipt of them and complete by mid- to late August). That supports my theory that as long as you submit before Labor Day, you have a decent chance of getting interview invitations.

As for why they resulted in waitlists, the reasons differ for each school. I bombed the first interview at which I actually had a very good chance of getting accepted had it gone well (2 in 1 odds). It was my first interview, I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, and I had a lot riding on it (it was and still is my dream school).

As a result, I was off my game. I expressed excitement at the wrong moments, such as when talking about my hobbies instead of describing my passion for medicine; some of my answers weren't phrased well and thus either weren't convincing or came off as naive; and I just didn't lay on enough charm.

I thought my second interview went really well, given the interviewers I was paired with. But the school doesn't take many out-of-state applicants as it is, had over-accepted people the year before (they had to give a few students incentives to defer for one year) and as a result accepted fewer people in general. Thus, it was a perfect storm for placing me on the waitlist.

Low GPA, both cumulative and science
Now onto my actual application. I didn't take school seriously as an undergraduate and my transcript reflects that. I literally have every grade my school offered, from A to F (including +s and -s), a W here and there, as well as a Pass for Pass/Fail courses. This resulted in sub-3.00 cumulative and science GPAs. Yeah, I did a number on my future during those four years.

I went back to school a couple of years ago to take pre-requisite classes since I had only completed a few of them in undergrad (thank God!) before dropping the pre-med thing back then. I managed to do a fair amount of GPA repair because I rocked them.

Unfortunately, I was a science major in undergrad but fortunately most of my major classes weren't classified as BCPM (Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Math) by AMCAS. This resulted in me being able to raise my science GPA nearly to 3.50.

My cumulative GPA remains at ~3.10, which is well below the 10th percentile at most schools. There is no amount of classes I can take to make my cumulative GPA competitive so I've stopped trying to raise it. Instead, I've applied mostly to schools that take a holistic approach to applicants and I hope they see past my immaturity from nearly a decade ago.

It also helps that I have a high MCAT score (36R) and have performed extremely well in upper-division biology and chemistry classes. It definitely eases the concerns of admissions committees about my ability to perform in medical school. So this may not be that big of a factor as long as a human lays eyes on my application.

Insufficient activities (up for debate)

This is where the answer isn't very clear-cut. I either have a really strong application or I shouldn't bother applying until I strengthen it. Depends on whom you ask.

Luckily, my committee letter writers are in the first boat otherwise I wouldn't have been offered any interviews last cycle. On the other hand, other well-respected people said they wouldn't have given me an interview even if I was the first application they saw. In their minds, my activities are too old, too impersonal, and I'm not productive enough with my spare time.

There is some merit to these concerns, especially now that I'm a reapplicant, so I'm fixing those areas in case I have to reapply yet again. I really hope it doesn't come to that but from some discussions with people, it's a legitimate concern.

That God-awful MCAT

Note: This is the first in a series of posts rehashing the beginning of my summer.

My MCAT was finally scheduled for May 19th at 8 AM and since it was about an hour away from my house, I stayed at a friend's place closer to the test site.

I'm a night owl and rarely fall asleep before 2 AM so although I'd been trying to get myself to wake up early in the mornings leading up to the MCAT, I just couldn't do it and thus got only about 3 hours of sleep before the test. I'm used to doing important things on little sleep so I wasn't too worried about it, but I think it may have influenced how my day was going to go.

Long story short, I thought I bombed it. As I walked out of the exam room I began praying for a 30, which is a far cry from the 33-36 I was expecting based on my practice scores. I had mistimed the Physical Sciences section so I was rushed towards the end and Biological Sciences just kicked my butt and bruised my ego.

Here's an excerpt about the BS section from an unpublished post I wrote the next day titled "Picking up the pieces":

Biological Sciences - Oh boy. This section reduced me to a pile of tears. Well, not during the exam, but immediately after. There were a couple of ridiculously hard sections that I just couldn't comprehend. I read them over and over again and I wasn't getting anything out of them. I don't think more time would've helped either. The worst part was that all the questions relied entirely on info from the passage and so I couldn't even reason my way through it with my background knowledge. More than a few discretes had me scratching my head and essentially guessing randomly, and that hasn't happened on any of my practice tests. It's very disconcerting.

A note about my feelings, also from that unpublished post:

I walked out of that exam honestly in tears. I am not much of a crier so this had clearly been a kick to the balls. I felt like all the hard work I had put into studying for this had been for naught and I had just killed any chance I have of getting into medical school this cycle. But at the same time, I don't think any more studying would've helped much. I may've gotten a couple more discretes correct in the Biological Sciences (BS) but I still would've been killed by two of those passages.

And my thoughts about voiding the results, again from that post:

If I hadn't been leaving the country on Tuesday [three days after the MCAT], I would've totally voided the exam and tried again in a month. Although, I don't think I had another month of studying left in me. I was pretty done by the end of it, so maybe that wouldn't have made a difference either.

On the bright side of things, two out of the four people taking the exam had massive computer failures in that their screens froze for over an hour. Maybe it's because I had people praying for me on two continents, but luckily that didn't happen to me. I don't know how I would've handled that, but I'm sure it wouldn't have been pretty.

Anywhos, I gave myself one day to mope and feel sorry about the whole situation, and mope I did. I held back tears at the baby shower I went to after the test and couldn't speak about the exam without welling up. It was BAD.

I had organized a paintballing excursion for the next day, which was great planning since it totally got my mind off everything. And then I started packing for my Asian adventure that I was leaving for three days after my MCAT. Again, good way to take my mind off things.

Paintball: The perfect post-MCAT stress relief.

The issues, emotions, and events that occurred during my international medical relief mission with the U.S. Navy were enough to keep me even more distracted while waiting for my score to come in (that's a post for another day). So all in all I really only suffered from this experience for about 24 hours.

But I am so glad I never have to go through that again because it's a complete mind-*&^#. Well, that is, until Step 1 rolls around in 3 years.

And now onto the score I received on the day I set foot in the United States again, which I checked at the tail end of a 48 hour journey home that included lost passport scares (plural), a death on an airplane, and a subsequent rescheduled flight. All in all, not ideal circumstances to deal with the feelings of getting my MCAT score back. But again, that's a post for another day.

Without further ado, ta da!

Click to enlarge.

Apparently I do really well when I'm not firing on all cylinders.

P.S. In my original unpublished (for a reason) mopy post, I did a breakdown of each section of the MCAT. Here is what I had to say about the writing part. Pop culture for the win!

Writing Section (?) - I don't even know what this section is officially called, so that shows you how much I prepared for it before the real thing. It was pretty straight-forward and kind of fun, actually. I channeled a bit of Jon Stewart in that I used a Nazi example for one of my responses. I was laughing on the inside the whole time.

The last month in a nutshell

I bet you're wondering about what's been going on in my life the last month or so. Well, a lot.

Here's a bullet-point list of my goings on since then.

• May 19 Morning - Took my MCAT.
• May 19 Afternoon - Hit up a baby shower and moped.
• May 19 Evening - Moped some more while getting my butt kicked at nerdy board games.
• May 20 - Tried to pick up the pieces after a disastrous MCAT experience.
• May 21 - Met with my boss to get a letter of recommendation, got a haircut, and got a professional-looking portrait done for applications.
• May 22 Ass-Crack of Dawn - Began a series of flights to Guam.
• May 23 Evening - Boarded the USNS Mercy at U.S. Navy base in Guam.
• May 24 - June 18 - Hung out aboard the USNS Mercy.
• June 3 - 9 - Camped out in an Indonesian village of <1000 inhabitants providing basic medical care as part of a humanitarian mission with the U.S. Navy.
• June 19 Morning - Boarded first of many planes to get home from a tiny town in the Philippines.
• June 19 Evening - Took an unexpected visit to a small island due to a very serious medical emergency aboard our flight.
• June 19 Morning - Found out my MCAT score at the Honolulu airport. Massive sense of relief followed.
• June 19 Evening - Finally arrived home after visits to way too many airports for my liking.
• June 19 - Present - I've done absolutely nothing during this time.

The problem with that last point is that I need to get my medical school application submitted ASAP, but I'm having trouble finding the motivation to do it by some imaginary deadline. I'm a major procrastinator and have found that rolling deadlines are my Achilles' heel. Well, one of my Achilles' heels, at least.

I will go into much more detail about the happenings of the last month in the coming weeks, but for now I wanted to provide a quick summary as another way of putting off working on my personal statement.

Last preparations before the MCAT

This stupid MCAT is happening on Saturday (in two days) and I have mixed feelings about my preparedness. I had tried studying yesterday and did a practice Verbal Reasoning test after a leisurely morning. But I gave up on all of it after I got 80% of the questions wrong. I'm not joking. It was bad.

I got a bit depressed after that, thinking that I'd passed my peak and that I'd be screwed for the real thing. Maybe I should've taken it last weekend like I had originally planned. Maybe I shouldn't have left most of the studying for the week before the exam, and spread it out instead. So many maybes.

In true college fashion, I grabbed a beer to ease the pain of failure and decided to get some real work done. You know, the kind I get paid to do. It's overrated, I tell you!

Anywhos, one beer turned into two and my work turned into the 2-hour season finale of "Criminal Minds", followed by Tuesday night's 2-hour "NCIS: LA" season finale. Some sushi rice and many beers later, it was time to go to bed because after-all, I had an important test to take soon.

I woke up at 7 am this morning (on my own, might I add) bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to take on the world. I sat down for that last practice test, praying that the verbal would go better than yesterday and hoping that I hadn't forgotten too much basic science after cramming minutiae into my brain for finals last week.

And this was my score:

To say I was surprised by this result is a gross understatement. It's the highest score I've received on any of the practice tests and a welcome surprise. Hopefully the real thing goes just as well.

Moral of the story: To get a good score, take 7 beers to the face the night before an 8 AM MCAT.

Burned out

I am 100% checked out of school right now. I just don't have it in me to study anymore. I have a biochemistry final tomorrow and I literally need to talk myself into opening my notes, otherwise it's just not going to get done.

And it's not that feeling of "I know it all and am bored with having to go over it again." I wish that was the case.

Instead, I'm overwhelmed by the volume of material covered on this exam and I have no desire to even attempt to learn it. That, and I don't believe my grade on the final will make any significant difference in my final letter grade. As long as I know the stuff well enough and don't completely bomb the final, I will keep the grade I currently have. So there goes that motivation.

I don't know what it is about this class that makes me feel so done. The whole biochem series has been incredibly frustrating for me, mostly because my grades haven't really reflected the degree to which I understand and know the material. I'm not blaming anyone but myself for this mess that is my grade, which makes the feeling even worse. I just have to keep telling myself that 2 Bs are not going to sink my medical school application. (Here is my justification for being so neurotic these days, because I didn't used to be this way.)

I am so done that at this point I'd much rather be studying for the MCAT or filling out my AMCAS. I am that much over school.

(Yes, this post is whiny. That's what happens when I get grumpy.)

It hasn't sunk in yet

In 25 days, I will be somewhere above the Pacific on a flight headed to Southeast Asia to volunteer aboard a Navy hospital ship and serve as part of an international medical relief mission. Even though my plane tickets are bought, my immunizations are scheduled, and I have a packing list in my head, it still hasn't sunk in that this is happening so soon, or even at all.

I have yet to accept the fact that I will be spending six weeks working...

1. as a medical team member,
2. on a boat, and
3. in a foreign country.

I am not exaggerating when I say that this is a dream come true.

And because it has been my dream for so long, I just can't believe that it's happening so soon in my medical "career". It just seems way too good to be true.

Two years ago I re-began the journey towards being a doctor by signing up for a few pre-med prerequisites. At the time, applying to medical school seemed so far away and I couldn't wait to be done with all of it. I just wanted to be in medical school then and not wait the years it would take me to finish up everything.

Instead of the expected long, hard slog, these last two years have flown by and I'm much closer to my goal of being a doctor. Even with all the work I've already put in, I still have a lot to do before I leave.

But when I get on that plane on May 22nd, my MCAT will have been taken, my medical school application will be finished, and I will have decided on which schools to apply to. That is a very scary thought.

Postponing the MCAT (again)

Ever since I saw that all the seats for the May 19th MCAT were filled, I've been obsessively checking the rescheduling website to see if anything has opened up. Eventually I resigned myself to taking the MCAT on the 12th and stopped checking the site. On a whim, I opened up the AAMC website today and lo and behold, May 19th was open!

So after much thought (and I really mean a lot of phone calls and discussions), I gave another $70 to AAMC to move my test date by one week.

You'd think this would be an easy decision to get another seven days of studying, but 1) I suck at making decisions for myself, and 2) I leave the country at 6:19 am on May 22nd for two months. So a May 19th MCAT puts me in a bit of time crunch with regards to getting all my things in order before the trip.

With this move, I have now had 7 confirmed and pseudo-confirmed (in my head) test dates, but really only 1 actual change (my wallet thanks me!). Luckily for my sanity, this is the last possible date I can take the MCAT without putting in a super late application for medical school.

So no more changing for me! D-Day is officially 5/19/12.

But, if I change my mind again and really want to go back to the May 12th test date, I'm sure I won't have a problem getting my spot back, as not many people are going to be pushing up their MCAT exams. The chances of that happening are slim to none.

My first practice MCAT

Even though I'm about a week behind on studying for the MCAT according to my schedule and technically still need to review a whole bunch of chapters, I decided to begin taking the practice tests now because my real test is only 5 weeks away. That doesn't seem like very long considering all the things I have to learn and do between now and May 12th. It's very overwhelming, actually.

As it stands, I've finished all the content review and just have to re-read chapters and review my answers. So it's not a bad time to get a general idea of my weak points so I can focus on those instead of feeling the need to memorize everything.

And...drum roll please...I scored a 33, with the breakdown being 11, 11, 11. While it's not a score that I'm happy with (I'm shooting for 36+), the 11 in Verbal Reasoning is incredibly reassuring.

When I first started doing Verbal passages, I was consistently scoring 7 and I was absolutely terrified because that is not something you can just cram for like you can for the other two sections. Lately, though, my scores have risen to 9 and then 11 on the last two sets of practice passages I've taken, so this "official" MCAT score lends credence to my thinking that I'm getting better.

Also, my timing is amazing on these tests to the point that I have 10 minutes left on each section to go over any answers that I'm unsure about. And the Biological Sciences section is a lot easier than my practice passages, while physics is not nearly as emphasized in Physical Sciences as I thought it would be. And that's very good because I haven't taken physics in eight years.

All in all, I think that if I had had a bit more confidence and read a bit more carefully, I could have scored at least 12 on both Biological and Physical Sciences because I missed at least a few questions in each section due to careless mistakes.

But since I have 7 more tests to take and whole bunch of passages still to do, I think I can improve in both of those areas.

MCAT issues

Sometimes this blog is written just for me to figure out plans of doing things a certain way in order to simplify my life. This is one of those posts, so feel free to ignore it.

I'm having some major problems retaining all the information needed for the MCAT. Reactants and conditions are not staying in my head for organic chemistry, and concepts I found easy in my general chemistry class are just not sticking. So I've formulated a new plan to make me remember all this stuff.

Here it is:

• Compile one-page "cheat sheets" for each chapter of each subject that include vital conceptual information as well as equations and tricks for solving MCAT problems quickly.
• Create examples of how to solve recurring types of problems unique to each chapter, with worked out solutions.
• Write up all the organic chemistry equations that are necessary for the MCAT.
• Review one chapter a day of all subjects. Rinse and repeat.

Since I do best when I have to do things over and over again, I hope that going over these home-made worksheets daily will help me retain this large volume of information, and will provide a great way to organize everything in my head. And 1 - 2 pages for each subject turns into ~8 pages total a day. That shouldn't be too hard.

Now if studying for the verbal section was this simple, I'd be set!

No pressure

This weekend a few friends from the summer camp I used to work at and I rented a condo in the mountains to have a few days away from the hustle and bustle of life. It was awesome! We lounged in the condo (I still can't ski because of my knee), did puzzles, played Settlers, and laughed our butts off.

I had an absolute blast, but as soon as I got back home I began thinking of all the MCAT studying I should have done this weekend and then I got sad. If I don't get into the local medical school, all these friends will no longer be a part of my life and that's depressing. And this thinking just exacerbates the problem I have with leaving my brother.

In short, I have so many reasons to stay here and that stresses me out because now, I have to get into this medical school! And to do that, I need to do really well on the MCAT. No pressure.

MCAT studying

The MCAT and I have a love-hate relationship. On the one hand, I REALLY like doing problems about science, but on the other hand I don't like having to know something. So I look forward to doing physics passages in my free time (I'm a freak, I know) but if I have to do them then I procrastinate like whoa. It's a weird dynamic between me and the MCAT...

Also, I haven't taken or done physics since my freshman year of college over 8 years ago and I still remember a good chunk of it (helps to be physics/logical-minded). Although I appreciate remembering a lot of what I need to know about gravity, forces, projectiles, etc, I've found that MCAT prep will have to involve working through the entire physics textbook in the next three months. Ay ay ay! Every 4th day just a got a bit more busy. But really, I don't mind. I kind of liked physics anyway.

A well-deserved vacation, and next semester's schedule

Last night I got back from Catalina Island after a week of volunteering at a Boy Scout camp I used to work at during the summers. It was awesome and completely exhausting. I slept 11 hours last night and still had trouble rolling out of bed this morning. During my whole time there, I was kind of lamenting the fact that the week was moving along so slowly. But when I thought about it some more, I became really glad that the one week out there felt more like three, which would extend my measly two week vacation into feeling like I had at least four weeks off between school sessions. I really need as much time off as possible after that summer of organic chemistry with lab. It totally wiped me out!

As for next semester, I have some decisions to make and soon. I've been debating taking an EMT class in the fall so I can work as an ED tech prior to applying to med school, and while waiting to get in and matriculate. Also, since I want to go abroad at some point before I go to med school and do something meaningful during that time, I figured having some sort of medical certification and experience would be a good thing. And I terribly miss doing medicine.

BUT, all this would mean I'd essentially have to choose between EMT class and rugby in the fall. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense to take the season off: my wrist is still not fully healed (argh!), I'm nowhere near rugby shape, and I don't want to drive to the next town over for EMT class when I can skip rugby and take it on the university campus a mile from my house. And if I decide to study for the January MCAT (that's still questionable), I'll actually have time to do that and have a life that would save my sanity.

So, the decision is made, and I just blew another grand on a class I've already taken and essentially shouldn't need to take again. If I had only realized I actually wanted to do medicine last May, I could've taken the EMT class over the summer and had something to do instead of mess around and wait for the fall to come around so I could start the pre-med thing. I could also go back to late 2009 and wish that I hadn't let my EMT cert expire thinking I was done with medicine forever. But all this anger with myself for wasting my money and time by making up for my past can really be traced back to undergrad. If I had done everything correctly back then, I would have started my residency a month ago instead of just now preparing for my MCAT.

But I love the path I've taken, and even though I often think that I should have done it differently, I know myself well enough to say that given the opportunity, I wouldn't have changed anything I've done in the past 8 years.