2014 application cycle in a nutshell

Since it's pretty much decided where I'll be going to medical school, I figured it's time for the second edition of "My application cycle in a nutshell". The first edition can be found here.

2014 application cycle, by the numbers:

• 27 - Schools to which I applied
• 26 - Schools from which I received a secondary
• 22 - Secondaries I submitted
• 7/5 - Interviews offered/interviews attended
• 4 - Waitlists
• 1 - Acceptances
• 4 - Rejections (all waitlists turned into rejections)
• 6/11 - AMCAS submitted
• 7/2 - AMCAS verified
• 7/4 - Earliest date my application was complete at a school
• 9/6 - Last date my application was complete at a school

All in all, I am satisfied with how this process ended up for me. It would've been nice to have gotten accepted to more than one school and had some sort of a choice. After-all, I still have some pride left over after two very humbling application cycles. On the other hand, I suck at making decisions for myself, so maybe it's better this way.

Honestly, though, after looking into schools in more depth, there are only one or two schools I would have considered attending over School E. I was waitlisted at one that was a complete reach for me (School A), so I got close but no cigar. The others I viewed through rose-colored glasses so I don't actually know if I would've been happier elsewhere.

Regardless, I am incredibly grateful to have an acceptance, especially to a medical school that I am so excited to attend. I couldn't have done this without the help and support of family, friends, and even strangers I met online. It is so humbling to know that so many people rallied behind me and allowed me to achieve what seemed like a pipe dream at times.

Maybe I'll write up a more detailed post about what got me accepted this time, but if I don't then the short version is the following:

1. Earlier primary application and thus earlier secondary submissions
2. Tailoring my secondary essay answers to the mission of each school
3. Putting on my happy, joyful, enthusiastic face during interviews and selling myself shamelessly

Details of a non-traditional medical school application

I'm a non-traditional medical school applicant ("non-trad" in med speak) in that I have spent some time in the real world between graduating from college and applying to medical school. It's been nearly 7 years at this point and I have done a wide variety of things in that time, some of them medicine-related but most of them not at all.

A commenter asked me to elaborate on my activities and what I put on my AMCAS, so here it goes. I don't particularly like lists so instead you get an abridged version of my adult life story, even though it may not seem very abridged. Everything I mention below is in one way or another presented in my primary application. So you're getting essentially what the adcoms got when they received my application, with some flowery commentary thrown in for good measure.

Bright College Years:
My major was in the natural sciences, so a lot of the requirements for my B.S. overlapped with those required for medical school. At the time, it was great to knock out both sets of requirements but in retrospect, I wish I had stayed far away from any BCPM classes during undergrad. I would've had a much easier time getting into medical school that way. But alas, I don't have a time machine so the past remains unchanged as much as I wish otherwise.

As a natural extension of my academic interest in medicine, I began getting involved clinically my freshman year. I volunteered as an EMT at a 911-only ambulance service a couple of towns away from my undergrad campus. Since I was never cleared to drive the ambulance, all of my hours were spent providing direct patient care. Over the course of the three years I spent in EMS, I acquired something like 1,700 hours of clinical community service. It was awesome and is one of the major reasons I am pursuing medicine as a career. I listed it as a meaningful activity and elaborated further on the previous statement.

Other extracurriculars included rugby, which I also listed as a most meaningful activity on my AMCAS, sailing, and Habitat for Humanity, which I had been involved with in high school and continued to work with in college.

Gap Year(s):
I went abroad after graduation and spent the next year and a half sailing the high seas, working in a café, playing rugby, moving to another country whose language I didn't speak, working for food and wine, all before finally coming back stateside to work at a summer camp. Again, this all went into my AMCAS application.

For those ~18 months, I did nothing that went anywhere near medicine. I simply had fun. I learned a lot about myself during that time and a lot of those experiences led me to apply to medical school, all of which I discussed in my personal statement.

I came back to the U.S. because my money ran out (working for food and wine doesn't go far with regard to savings) and because I was tired of living out of a suitcase. I wanted my own sofa and I couldn't have that with my nomadic lifestyle. This part was not in my application, for obvious reasons. I don't think I actually told med schools why I moved back. Only one interviewer has ever asked and I gave her a more eloquent and mature answer, one which didn't involve a sofa.

The Real World:
Unbeknownst to me, the town I moved to after the summer camp experience was a Mecca for the career I had planned to pursue at the time. I hadn't come around to medicine quite yet and was instead focused on working in the industry of my undergrad major.

I got a job in research full-time at the local university and have been here ever since. While the experiences I have had as a member of this research group have been incredible (see the trip to Alaska and other deployments to equally exotic locations), I have ultimately realized that this career is not for me and that I needed to find something else to do.

As soon as I began thinking about medical school again, I started volunteering at the hospital where I've been lucky enough to have direct contact with both patients and physicians. I also enrolled in pre-med classes at the same university I work at since I had to take or retake nearly all of the med school pre-requisites.

I have continued to be heavily involved in rugby as well as with Habitat for Humanity.

Lastly, I went on a medical mission trip with the U.S. Navy to Southeast Asia for a month about a year ago. I have a well-documented interest in international outreach so this wasn't simply a box-checking activity. Instead, it was the perfect combination of the things I'm passionate about: international missions, boats, and medicine. It opened my eyes to how international medicine is really done and somewhat changed what I had envisioned as my future career in medicine.

How all of this is perceived by adcoms (people that matter):
Like I've mentioned before, my application is either loved or hated by the powers that be. I have yet to get a neutral reaction to my experiences and journey to med school. One interviewer has grilled me on why now, how I know I won't quit again, and the like, while a pre-med advisor (Ms. D) simply doesn't like me for reasons I can't explain.

For the most part, though, interviewers were curious and excited to discuss the reasons behind my adventures and wanted to know why I finally came back to medicine after so many years pursuing vastly different things.

I don't think there are any "required" extracurriculars or activities for non-trads. I've known people who got in with very little recent volunteering or practically no research. However, it seems like you need to have one or the other, or a very valid reason for being light in those areas such as family, job, or other pressures. I happened to have both research and volunteering, although I didn't have any publications even though I worked for ~5 years as a research assistant, which I know hurt me at some schools.

My advice to other non-traditional applicants is to first and foremost focus on your grades and MCAT. Those are the most important things in your application. Then, do clinical volunteering/work and shadowing, and maybe get some research in if that's your thing. Primarily, you need to show that you can handle the academic workload. Secondly, you need to be able to show that you know what you're getting yourself into and having those activities on your application will go far in convincing adcoms that you're making an educated decision to pursue medicine.

Generally, activities of non-trads are not more heavily scrutinized per se but rather the reasons behind those decisions are questioned more intensely. It's a lot harder to quit another career to pursue medicine than it is to apply to med school as a junior in college so adcoms want to know why, why, why. In your applications, but more importantly in your interviews, make sure you can convincingly communicate why you switched to medicine and have some evidence/stories to back that up.

Be prepared to discuss any deficiencies you may have in your application, even if the reason that your undergrad grades sucked was because you were young and stupid. Own up to your mistakes and let interviewers know that you've learned from them and that you're better for it.

I'm not an expert on medical school admissions for traditional or non-traditional students by any means. After-all, I've been placed on 5 waitlists and only accepted to one school after applying twice. So take everything I say with a grain of salt.

However, the above "advice" is based on a lot of research on the subject both from SDN (there really is some good stuff there if you wade through the bullshit) and from talking with a lot of people. I haven't always heeded my own advice but now I know better and hope that this helps you, dear commenter.

If you have any other questions, don't hesitate to write below and I'll try to elaborate further.

The last application cycle in a nutshell

Here is a summary of the last application cycle, by the numbers:

• 32 - Schools to which I applied
• 27 - Schools from which I received a secondary
• 20 - Secondaries I submitted
• 2/2 - Interviews offered/interviews attended
• 2 - Waitlists
• 0 - Acceptances
• 2 - Rejections (both waitlists turned into rejections)
• 7/2 - AMCAS submitted
• 8/7 - AMCAS verified
• 8/17 - Earliest date my application was complete at a school
• 11/12 - Last date my application was complete at a school

All in all, I am very disappointed with how this process ended up for me.

That's the super condensed version. The drawn-out and analyzed version can be found here.

Why I didn't get accepted last cycle

A commenter asked today why I think I didn't get in last cycle so here is my very long-winded (as always) explanation.

I believe there are several reasons for my many rejections, in order of effect on my application:

1. Late submission of secondary essays
2. Bombing interviews
3. Low GPA, both cumulative and science
4. Insufficient activities (up for debate)

Late submission of secondary essays:
The most significant one is the first: my applications were complete very, very late. I was verified by AMCAS by the first week of August, which is actually still fine. However, I took my time submitting my secondary essays and that's what really cost me.

Most of them were submitted in mid-September, meaning my application wasn't complete until October or even November. By that point, many interview invitations had already been given out and I was competing with more applicants for fewer spots. Not good odds with my numbers.

Bombing interviews:
I did receive two interview invitations and both of them resulted in waitlist positions. These were the two schools at which I submitted my secondary applications relatively early (within two weeks of receipt of them and complete by mid- to late August). That supports my theory that as long as you submit before Labor Day, you have a decent chance of getting interview invitations.

As for why they resulted in waitlists, the reasons differ for each school. I bombed the first interview at which I actually had a very good chance of getting accepted had it gone well (2 in 1 odds). It was my first interview, I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, and I had a lot riding on it (it was and still is my dream school).

As a result, I was off my game. I expressed excitement at the wrong moments, such as when talking about my hobbies instead of describing my passion for medicine; some of my answers weren't phrased well and thus either weren't convincing or came off as naive; and I just didn't lay on enough charm.

I thought my second interview went really well, given the interviewers I was paired with. But the school doesn't take many out-of-state applicants as it is, had over-accepted people the year before (they had to give a few students incentives to defer for one year) and as a result accepted fewer people in general. Thus, it was a perfect storm for placing me on the waitlist.

Low GPA, both cumulative and science
Now onto my actual application. I didn't take school seriously as an undergraduate and my transcript reflects that. I literally have every grade my school offered, from A to F (including +s and -s), a W here and there, as well as a Pass for Pass/Fail courses. This resulted in sub-3.00 cumulative and science GPAs. Yeah, I did a number on my future during those four years.

I went back to school a couple of years ago to take pre-requisite classes since I had only completed a few of them in undergrad (thank God!) before dropping the pre-med thing back then. I managed to do a fair amount of GPA repair because I rocked them.

Unfortunately, I was a science major in undergrad but fortunately most of my major classes weren't classified as BCPM (Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Math) by AMCAS. This resulted in me being able to raise my science GPA nearly to 3.50.

My cumulative GPA remains at ~3.10, which is well below the 10th percentile at most schools. There is no amount of classes I can take to make my cumulative GPA competitive so I've stopped trying to raise it. Instead, I've applied mostly to schools that take a holistic approach to applicants and I hope they see past my immaturity from nearly a decade ago.

It also helps that I have a high MCAT score (36R) and have performed extremely well in upper-division biology and chemistry classes. It definitely eases the concerns of admissions committees about my ability to perform in medical school. So this may not be that big of a factor as long as a human lays eyes on my application.

Insufficient activities (up for debate)

This is where the answer isn't very clear-cut. I either have a really strong application or I shouldn't bother applying until I strengthen it. Depends on whom you ask.

Luckily, my committee letter writers are in the first boat otherwise I wouldn't have been offered any interviews last cycle. On the other hand, other well-respected people said they wouldn't have given me an interview even if I was the first application they saw. In their minds, my activities are too old, too impersonal, and I'm not productive enough with my spare time.

There is some merit to these concerns, especially now that I'm a reapplicant, so I'm fixing those areas in case I have to reapply yet again. I really hope it doesn't come to that but from some discussions with people, it's a legitimate concern.

Now onto the writing

My application was just verified by AMCAS and will be sent to medical schools beginning now. So I'm really only five days behind the super early birds. Not too shabby.

And so begins the mad essay writing...right before the 4th of July weekend. Good thing most of these are already pre-written so there's not too much work on my end.

Secondary essays, version 2.0

My primary application is days away from being sent to medical schools so within the next week or so I will have a buttload of essays to submit, with prompts such as, "How would you contribute to our medical school class?" and "What's the greatest challenge you have faced?"

I remember being so burnt out with this process last year that the thought of putting another word on paper (or, more accurately, typing it on my computer) was incredibly repulsive. It honestly took me about an hour to write "the perfect" sentence, which isn't so perfect now that I read over it a year later. There's lots of revising to do.

The biggest thing I've learned from this process is to tailor my answers to the mission and priorities of each medical school. Some schools are service-based and others are research-based so I need to emphasize those qualities in my essays depending on which school I'm applying to.

I have a lot of these essays to write (my current list is 24 schools long), but I'm definitely looking forward to them more than I did last year. This doesn't mean I want to write anything, because I actually really detest writing when there's something riding on my responses.

I'm excited to see where my application takes me, because I have a legitimate shot at getting interviews this time around. Hurray for starting early!

The shame of reapplying

I read an article today about how to structure an application as a reapplicant and it pretty much negates everything I thought I should do.

I personally am ashamed of not getting accepted to medical school last cycle and having to reapply this year. I cringe every time I have to tell somebody that I didn't get in. So I thought it'd be best to pretend that chapter of my life didn't occur. By that I mean, there is no mention of me being a reapplicant anywhere in my application (well, except for the box I have to check saying I'm reapplying).

Apparently, though, sometimes reapplying is looked upon favorably by admissions committees. It shows you're resilient and persistent and really want to pursue medicine as a career. I don't know how that's not evident from the fact that I practically quit my job a couple of years ago, spent thousands of dollars and hours on pre-requisite courses, and kicked butt in my classes and on my MCAT. But I guess I have to put that in words instead of showing it through my activities.

I've already submitted my primary application so there is no changing my personal statement. It would've been the perfect concluding paragraph. However, I have a second chance at communicating my persistence and resilience in the form of secondary applications. I'm sure I can find a way to mention this in most prompts so I still have a chance to let schools know I'm better for going through that experience.

I'm just glad I stumbled upon that article before I submitted all my materials and not after. All is not lost quite yet.

Submitted and excited

I just submitted my application to AMCAS for round 2 of trying to get into medical school and I'm kind of excited. I generally do much better with everything the second time around so I'm very hopeful that this will be the year*.

Also, I'm kind of annoyed and bored with my current city/state/region so the idea of possibly moving to another part of the country is incredibly thrilling. I'm kind of a nomad and get restless when I've spent a lot of time in one place, so five years here is plenty and I'm looking forward to going elsewhere.

It helps that I'm not entirely dreading writing more secondary essays or cover letters, so reapplying is not nearly as daunting as it was even a couple of months ago. Oh, what a difference a year of relaxation makes!

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*This only applies if I don't get in off the waitlist, of course, for which my chances are slowly dwindling. In general, I no longer quite believe I will start medical school in August so I've really started thinking about what I will be doing for the next year instead. And I'm getting super excited about the possibilities.

Nearly ready to reapply

I'm nearly done with my AMCAS application, with just the personal statement left to edit. So that's going to be submitted early next week. I'm not taking any chances this time around so I'm getting everything in as soon as possible (application submission opens on Tuesday).

I still have to decide on my list of schools because it's not going to be the same as last year. To send your application in to get verified*, you only need to specify one school at first and then you can add others later. So I'm going with the dream school for now, and if I still haven't been accepted off of the waitlist by late June, then I'll add the others.

Anywhos, after hating the second school at which I interviewed, I've reconsidered my criteria for choosing medical schools. Some have been cut, while others have been added. Since I wrote a lot of secondary essays last year, I can reuse most of the content from them this time around, with some editing and adding of sentences.

So new schools that I'm iffy about (not entirely excited about applying there, but there's something that makes me want to send in my application) have to have at least some overlap with the answers I've already written otherwise they get cut. I can't write too many brand new essays, as I found out last year, so I'm keeping the number to a minimum while still applying broadly.

Speaking of writing, once this AMCAS is submitted I'm going to start working on the secondaries** in anticipation of getting slammed with requests come early July. I need to get them in within a week of receiving the prompts otherwise I'll have the same results as this cycle, which were not so hot.

So in a week, the real writing begins.

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*For AMCAS you have to have all of your grades "verified" by the medical school admissions people. They make sure you've entered them correctly on the application and correct anything they feel is wrong. This takes anywhere from one day to 6+ weeks, depending on when you submit your application. Obviously, the earlier, the better, so I'm going to submit mine on the first day to get verified quickly and then I'll add other schools when I make up my mind about them.

Also, this application doesn't get passed on to medical schools until the last week of June, so I have time between now and then to add more schools to my list. Adding other schools doesn't slow down your application, nor does it require another verification. Even though I only have to fill out one primary application that goes to most schools, I have to pay for each school individually. So in order to save money on the off-chance that I get accepted off of the waitlist, I'm only going to pay for one school for now in order to get verified and add others when/if it becomes clear that I really do have to go through another application cycle.

**There's a sub-forum on SDN that has prompts for each school from previous cycles. Most schools don't change these prompts so I can pre-write my secondary answers before I even get invited to do so. Obviously, sometimes these change, but for the most part they remain the same year-to-year. So if I do have to completely rewrite my answers, there's only one or two additional essays required instead of the 25 I would normally have coming at me at once.

AMCAS, Round 2

AMCAS (the medical school application) opened up on Wednesday and since I currently don't hold any acceptances to a medical school, I've begun filling it out to be ready to submit on June 4th as a reapplicant.

For the most part, it's so much easier than last time around. All the fields are pre-filled with last year's information, including my personal statement. I'm going to do some editing on that so it won't be identical, but it's kind of great that I don't have to add in any of my grades again. I'm old; I've attended a lot of schools and taken a fair amount of classes.

There are only two major differences between this year's application and last year's:

1. A more specific estimation of my parents' income growing up is required. Last year the upper cut-off was low enough so I didn't need to be specific because we were above it. But this year there are categories of income in increments of $25,000 that go up to half a million or something ridiculous like that. So the parents have had to go through their finances to figure out a good average since their salary varied widely from my birth to my adulthood.


2. The activities section now asks for total hours per activity instead of hours per week. For some things like clinical volunteering or shadowing, this method is preferable to give the admissions committee a good sum of hours. But for other activities like sports or jobs, it doesn't really work out because it's highly inaccurate to approximate 10 years of playing rugby.
   
   Also, the upper limit for total hours is 999 per activity so anything over 1000 cannot be entered accurately. I've started putting in the hours per week in the activity description if I haven't exhausted the character limit, which kind of makes up for that deficiency.

So that's that. The deadline for applicants from last cycle to decide on a single school and thus withdraw from all other schools they've been accepted to is quickly approaching (May 15th) so there should be "significant" waitlist movement in the coming weeks. And that means I can start getting anxious about checking my email really soon.

Since I wrote the really long "I love you" update letter to my dream school at the end of March, I'm going to go for a simple "Remember that I still love you" email this time around. If I still don't hear anything by early/mid-June, I'll send them another love letter but right now I can't think of anything of substance to add to that letter. So it'll have to wait.

Also, I've started planning my summer as if I was matriculating in the fall, at least with my big trip that involves international air travel. I've been saying that I'd visit my family abroad (I'm foreign) for the past four years and each summer something has come up so that I haven't been able to make it. This year I've promised myself that nothing is going to get in the way of my visit so even though July is not the best time for them, it is the only guaranteed month I'll be able to go regardless of what happens with school.

Everything else summer-wise, like music festivals and races, can be booked/bought in June/July when I have a better idea of what the next year will bring for me. Overall, I've come to terms with having to wing most of my summer activities, which is not ideal but such is life.

Preparing for what's next

I've talked to a bunch of friends, family, and coworkers about my waitlist status and I love how they are so unanimously optimistic about my chances of still getting in, because I sure am not. They're all empty hopes that have no foundation so I smile, nod, and thank them for their confidence in me. And I agree with them when they say, "At least you weren't rejected." Gotta love blind optimism!

The best advice I've been given thus far has been to prepare to reapply and plan my life accordingly. I need to stop putting off making summer plans in the hopes of getting accepted this year, and instead I should live my life the way I would have if I'd been rejected outright. On the off chance that I do end up accepted then I'll rearrange my plans accordingly, but for now I need to live life. And so I have.

It helps that I just got back from an incredibly relaxing 2-week vacation and the things causing stress in my life (not medical school related) have been resolved for the most part. I notice myself repeating "Such is life" and "It is what it is" a lot these days so I think I've simply ceased to care about the minutiae and have accepted everything for what it is.

I've become optimistic and happy regarding my current situation and my future in general, and I'm much more excited about the prospect of medical school, even if I have to wait another cycle for it. When I applied last year I was so burned out from life that the thought of dealing with applications and selling myself at interviews was too much to handle. I'm pretty sure that sentiment was conveyed through my essays and answers to interviewers, which didn't help my cause. But now I'm much more relaxed and ready for the beast that is the process of applying to medical school.

With the approach of May, I need to start requesting transcripts and sending out drafts of my personal statement to get edited so that I'm ready to submit my AMCAS application on June 4th (the first possible day for submission). There are a few activities I need to update but overall, there's really not much I need to do the second time around.

I have a very good idea of what has brought me to this point in my life and the motivations behind my decisions in the past. Going through this process once already has prepared me for the types of questions and answers I should expect, and the best way to convey my interest and passions in writing and in person.

Honestly, I'm not dreading going through this cycle a second time, which is the opposite sentiment of most reapplicants. Most people say they would never wish another medical school application cycle on anyone. As an older applicant, I have some perspective on what really matters in life and in the grand scheme of things, reapplying isn't very high on my "awful shit I have to go through" list. Yeah, it sucks and given the choice I would've preferred to get in the first time around (duh), but it's not the end of the world and I'll come out of it a better person.

At least that's what I'm saying now. We'll see how my tune changes a year from now if I still haven't gotten in by the second go around.

No news and interviews

Birthday week has come and gone and still no news. I'm sure you figured that out from my silence because I would've announced an admission to the world. I guess that post will have to wait for another day.

That's not to say I have an admissions post written by any means. I am not that ahead of myself. Right now I'm brainstorming a letter of intent to my dream school in case it comes to that.

Speaking of the dream school, I'm pretty sure the admissions committee met sometime last week because my status on their website changed during that time instead of directly after my interview like it normally does. I'm still not too concerned because few people get in during the first post-interview committee meeting or even the second, with most people hearing back in late February/early March. I really don't care when I hear back from them, although the sooner the better. I just hope I get in at some point this cycle.

Anywhos, for now I need to focus on my upcoming interview and get prepped for it like I was for the last one. I will let you know in vague detail how that one went when I get back from it.

Quasi done-zo

I've finished up my secondary applications* (finally!) except for a few that I'm only doing to appease my mother, most of which I have absolutely no chance of being admitted to. Turning them in this late doesn't help in that respect but I told her I'd apply so I have to get them done eventually. And I don't particularly want to attend these schools in the first place so that's another reason not to get too worked up about most definitely being rejected without even an interview.**

Anywhos, remember my confidence about getting admitted this year? That's all about gone at this point because of the tardiness at being "complete" at all my schools.***

I'm actually starting to freak out a bit about possibly not getting in because so many people already have interview invites and/or have attended interviews and all I have is one measly email saying I've been moved to a "pool of applicants who potentially will be invited to interview with us."

That's not very hope-inducing but it does mean that the letter of recommendation I was worried about turned out to be pretty spectacular. It was either going to sink my application or make it (no in betweens) and I'm glad that it was the latter.

I don't know how I would've answered "How have you improved your application since the last time you submitted?" if I had to reapply. Umm...not piss off my letter-writer within a week of asking him to write it? I don't think that explanation would fly.

Also, pardon all the stars here but I'm using this post as a not-very-well-organized explanation of the medical school application process to people not familiar with it.

Lastly, here's the most recent Facebook meme I found hilarious:

If T. Rex had just one wish, he'd wish he could cuddle.

(Full disclosure: It's not the most recent, but the cleanest. I have one up my sleeve that's not exactly politically correct. I'll save it for when I'm feeling particularly feisty.)

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*For the non-medical school folk, after submitting the primary application that consists of a personal statement and description of extracurricular activities to the medical school application black hole, each school you have applied to can choose to send you a secondary/supplemental application that requires paying another fee but also often requires writing essays about greatest challenges, moral and ethical dilemmas, or your prized possessions. This has been the greatest hang-up for me because I absolutely hate formal writing that needs to put me in the best possible light.

**If schools really like you, they invite you for an interview. You can't get in without one. The earlier you get your application in, the better your chances of being asked to interview. And the earlier your interview, the more likely you'll be admitted (at most schools, at least).

***Being "complete" means having your MCAT scores and secondary/supplemental application submitted, paying the application fee for that specific school, and having all your letters of recommendation ready.

Fire under my butt

I've been sitting on my secondary applications much longer than I care to admit and I have finally found the urgency to get them done. I didn't realize just how long I'd been putting them off until I realized that it's almost September. Yikes!

So I've given myself a deadline of Thursday to get them all submitted. That puts me well beyond the arbitrary two weeks that people suggest but before the "late" crowd, so I've been told. Regardless, there is no way I can get them done any faster at this point (I'm already struggling with writing this much) so there's really no need to stress any more than I already am.

Regret seems to be my modus operandi and the way I choose to live my life, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that that feeling is becoming a major theme in this application cycle. Mostly it's regret at taking so long to fill things out that actually don't take that much time. But a lot of the regret stems from my college years o' fun, which I don't regret at the same time, so I kind of feel like I break even.

Anywhos, on a brighter and more analytical note, I did submit my secondary a couple of weeks ago to the one school I REALLY want to get into. So that one was relatively on time. The main reason why I haven't been quick about the rest of these is because I honestly don't care where I end up, short of the #1 school. So if I don't get into some school because I submitted my secondary 10 days later* than I had originally planned, I won't be too torn up about it since it didn't really have that soft spot in my heart.

Maybe I need to stop being so cocky about this whole application process. I don't know for sure that I'll be getting in anywhere so I should be maximizing my chances at each of the schools to which I'm applying. But for some reason I'm lacking in the motivation department. A rejection or two from a "safety" school would probably help with that, but I don't really want to wish that upon myself just to make me more efficient.

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*Another coping mechanism I'm using is that my committee letter wasn't ready until August 17th, so even if I had submitted secondaries prior to that, my application wouldn't have been considered until then. So I'm really only about 10 days behind at this point, which in the grand scheme of things isn't that bad.

If you can't tell, I can make myself feel better about these types of things by convincing myself it had to be that way. It's a pretty effective coping mechanism.

What I'm currently thinking about

With my primary application being verified any day now resulting in a flood of secondaries I have yet to even begin, I should be focusing on getting into a writing mode to churn these babies out. I should be worried about the length of time it'll take my pre-med committee to send in my committee letter to the medical schools so I can finally be considered for interviews. And I should be bummed that I am no longer "early" in the application process, and thus my chances of acceptance are a bit lower than I would like them to be.

Instead, I'm stressing over where the creator and writer of my new favorite TV show "White Collar" are taking the series and whether it'll be around for a few more seasons because it is just plain AWESOME. I can't wait for August 14th not because I will be that much closer to having a complete application at the medical schools to which I'm applying, but because that's when the next episode of "White Collar" will air.

Priorities, right?

P.S. "White Collar" is an amazing TV show about a con man who now works for the FBI agent who caught him. It basically picks up where the movie "Catch Me If You Can" (with Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks) left off and runs with it. The con man and FBI agent have amazing chemistry, there are plenty of hilarious one-liners, and it's just very smartly written. The main character is ridiculously pretty (Matt Bomer from "Magic Mike" plays the con man) and the story lines are engaging. In short, it's a winning show and you should definitely start watching it.

Just start with the pilot and you'll be hooked.

The last month in a nutshell

I bet you're wondering about what's been going on in my life the last month or so. Well, a lot.

Here's a bullet-point list of my goings on since then.

• May 19 Morning - Took my MCAT.
• May 19 Afternoon - Hit up a baby shower and moped.
• May 19 Evening - Moped some more while getting my butt kicked at nerdy board games.
• May 20 - Tried to pick up the pieces after a disastrous MCAT experience.
• May 21 - Met with my boss to get a letter of recommendation, got a haircut, and got a professional-looking portrait done for applications.
• May 22 Ass-Crack of Dawn - Began a series of flights to Guam.
• May 23 Evening - Boarded the USNS Mercy at U.S. Navy base in Guam.
• May 24 - June 18 - Hung out aboard the USNS Mercy.
• June 3 - 9 - Camped out in an Indonesian village of <1000 inhabitants providing basic medical care as part of a humanitarian mission with the U.S. Navy.
• June 19 Morning - Boarded first of many planes to get home from a tiny town in the Philippines.
• June 19 Evening - Took an unexpected visit to a small island due to a very serious medical emergency aboard our flight.
• June 19 Morning - Found out my MCAT score at the Honolulu airport. Massive sense of relief followed.
• June 19 Evening - Finally arrived home after visits to way too many airports for my liking.
• June 19 - Present - I've done absolutely nothing during this time.

The problem with that last point is that I need to get my medical school application submitted ASAP, but I'm having trouble finding the motivation to do it by some imaginary deadline. I'm a major procrastinator and have found that rolling deadlines are my Achilles' heel. Well, one of my Achilles' heels, at least.

I will go into much more detail about the happenings of the last month in the coming weeks, but for now I wanted to provide a quick summary as another way of putting off working on my personal statement.

Choosing medical schools

It's that time when I need to decide to which schools I'm applying. With over 100 to choose from, this decision is kind of a big deal. And since my overall stats are not competitive at 75% of the medical schools in the U.S. due to having way too much fun in undergrad, I can't just pull out the MSAR (an awesome resource with admissions statistics for all the medical schools) and see where I stand. It's a bit more complicated than that. And I'm really bad at making decisions for myself.

So I went to see the pre-med advisor for some guidance. Out of the three available in the office, I met with the one (Ms. D) who is great at crushing my dreams. That may be a bit harsh, but I always feel a little more hopeless after meeting with her. This is compared to the "I'm awesome!" feeling I get from the other advisor (Ms. E), who just happened to be one of my committee letter interviewers. Boy, I lucked out with that one!

Anywhos, Ms. D gave me a list of schools at which I might be a good fit, and also gave me a lot to think about. I've been pretty dead-set on the local med school and if you had asked me yesterday how I would feel if I didn't get in there, I'd probably tell you I'd cry. And I'm not a crying type of person. At all.

Everything about the local medical school (LMS) is right up my alley. It's got great weather, the student body is very laid back, there is an atmosphere of making others look good instead of gruesome competition, and it loves non-traditional students. That, and I have a good life here that I'm just not ready to leave. The chances of someone in my position being accepted are ~20%. It was (and still is) my *DREAM* school and I was pretty certain that I'd get in there. And then I met with my advisor.

With Ms. D's not-so-enthusiastic opinion on my chances of getting in, I began to reconsider my options and also stopped thinking of LMS as my be all end all. The way she went about suggesting medical schools for me made me start looking at schools in a different light, one in which I could present a case of what I could offer them instead of what they could do for me.

I don't know why it took a pre-med meeting to see things that way, because I've been in the real world long enough to realize that that's how things work in life, and have tailored my applications and approaches at meetings to reflect such a position. In fact, it's probably the major reason I got the Navy gig I'm leaving for in 10 days. I know to emphasize the right things to get what I want, and so far I've been rather successful at that.

But after reading numerous threads on SDN (now I see where I went wrong), I've become more self-centered to the point of thinking that I am God's gift to medical school. Well, maybe not quite that good but good enough that my concern with fit is the only one that matters. Trying to find a school that matched my experience became a search for a city in which I could be happy living, instead of focusing on where my experience went along with the type of student the admissions committee was looking for.

I don't believe too much in "fit" in the traditional sense. For me, a good fit would be a school located somewhere with enough sunshine to prevent me from staying in bed most of the year and also with a cooperative and generally not-so-intense student body. My only pseudo-requirement for curriculum is that there is a block system, but even that is negotiable. It would be nice to have some patient contact early in the non-clinical years, but even if it's not an official part of the curriculum, I'll be able to find it on my own.

So really, I'm not that picky. Research, primary care focus, PBL v. lecture preferences really don't concern me. I can adapt to all that and get whatever I desire out of med school. Now you see where the SDN cockiness and ignorance has reared its ugly head.

But Ms. D made me realize that I have had it all wrong. A good fit for a med school is not limited to where I could see myself living for 4 years, but more importantly, a place where my past experiences and activities go along with the mission of the school and the type of doctors it is hoping to shape.

Yes, I can be research-focused at a primary care oriented school, or get enough clinical experience at a huge research institution. But, that's not how the admissions committees see things. And that's not how I should see things, either. I can adapt, but I shouldn't have to.

There is enough variety in the nation's medical schools to find one that is in line with my past experiences and interests and also is in a city that has sun, water, and laid back people. Those things are not mutually exclusive. I just need to do a little more digging to find them.

P.S. Two posts in one week? Clearly I don't want to do what I should be doing. But don't get used to it. :)

Burned out

I am 100% checked out of school right now. I just don't have it in me to study anymore. I have a biochemistry final tomorrow and I literally need to talk myself into opening my notes, otherwise it's just not going to get done.

And it's not that feeling of "I know it all and am bored with having to go over it again." I wish that was the case.

Instead, I'm overwhelmed by the volume of material covered on this exam and I have no desire to even attempt to learn it. That, and I don't believe my grade on the final will make any significant difference in my final letter grade. As long as I know the stuff well enough and don't completely bomb the final, I will keep the grade I currently have. So there goes that motivation.

I don't know what it is about this class that makes me feel so done. The whole biochem series has been incredibly frustrating for me, mostly because my grades haven't really reflected the degree to which I understand and know the material. I'm not blaming anyone but myself for this mess that is my grade, which makes the feeling even worse. I just have to keep telling myself that 2 Bs are not going to sink my medical school application. (Here is my justification for being so neurotic these days, because I didn't used to be this way.)

I am so done that at this point I'd much rather be studying for the MCAT or filling out my AMCAS. I am that much over school.

(Yes, this post is whiny. That's what happens when I get grumpy.)

It hasn't sunk in yet

In 25 days, I will be somewhere above the Pacific on a flight headed to Southeast Asia to volunteer aboard a Navy hospital ship and serve as part of an international medical relief mission. Even though my plane tickets are bought, my immunizations are scheduled, and I have a packing list in my head, it still hasn't sunk in that this is happening so soon, or even at all.

I have yet to accept the fact that I will be spending six weeks working...

1. as a medical team member,
2. on a boat, and
3. in a foreign country.

I am not exaggerating when I say that this is a dream come true.

And because it has been my dream for so long, I just can't believe that it's happening so soon in my medical "career". It just seems way too good to be true.

Two years ago I re-began the journey towards being a doctor by signing up for a few pre-med prerequisites. At the time, applying to medical school seemed so far away and I couldn't wait to be done with all of it. I just wanted to be in medical school then and not wait the years it would take me to finish up everything.

Instead of the expected long, hard slog, these last two years have flown by and I'm much closer to my goal of being a doctor. Even with all the work I've already put in, I still have a lot to do before I leave.

But when I get on that plane on May 22nd, my MCAT will have been taken, my medical school application will be finished, and I will have decided on which schools to apply to. That is a very scary thought.

Preparing for the committee letter interview

The pre-health advising office at the university at which I'm doing my post-baccalaureate courses (what a mouthful!) writes an all-encompassing "report" on us called a committee letter that is sent along with our letters of recommendation to all the medical schools to which we apply. It's kind of an overall assessment of our candidacy for medical school and includes their take on whether we have the qualities of a good doctor.

As part of the process of getting a committee letter written, we had to complete an appraisal packet that was composed of questions such as the following:

• What characteristics do you have that will make you good at your chosen profession?
• From what situation, experience or interaction have you learned the most about yourself?
• Describe an example of a time when you showed intellectual curiosity, problem-solving and/or self-directed learning in any area.

These allow our committee to get to know us better and write a more effective and complete letter.

Anywhos, my interview is in two days and I'm starting to prepare my responses to common questions I know they'll ask, such as "Why do you want to be a doctor?" and ethical dilemmas, as well as greatest strengths and weaknesses questions.

Most of these answers are pretty straightforward but I'm having a really difficult time thinking up a 5-minute speech on why I want to be a doctor. Mostly, this problem stems from the fact that I have answered this question in my personal essay and in two questions on the self-appraisal packet, so I can't think of anything original to add to that. Obviously I want to bring in some new information so it's not just a regurgitation of the things the interviewers have in front of them, but I went all out on that packet and don't have much more to give, at least not convincingly.

I think the solution is to stick with what I've written previously and just organize my response well. Hopefully I'll think of a few examples that are different enough from my earlier answers that the interviewers get some new ammo for that committee letter. In short, it's time to wrack my brain!