Accepted medical student panel for pre-med students

I participated in a panel for pre-med students at the local university where the pre-meds could ask accepted students anything they wanted about the application process. I figured as a non-traditional reapplicant, I would have a unique viewpoint on the whole process.

Little did I know that my story is not that uncommon. Of the first 5 people who introduced themselves, 4 were non-traditional reapplicants, though none as old as me. The rest of the 15-20 panelists were either traditional students or kids (yes, they're young) who had taken a gap year to screw around. Not many of the pre-med attendees were non-traditionals so I didn't really help anyone out too much, but I like to believe that my more mature (ha!) attitude about the whole process calmed their nerves a bit.

Most of the questions were about the MCAT: How did you study? Did you get any sleep the night before? When is the best time to take it? There were also questions about choosing medical schools, the incredible debt we're about to incur, and terrible interview questions.

I was one of the few who had studied for the MCAT on my own and had also chosen my list of schools based on geography, among other things. Everyone else had cookie-cutter applications, which I guess is more in line with what the people attending the panel would look like on paper.

The "worst interview question" brought me back to that terrible experience back in November when I completely failed an ethical question. By the time I was able to get a word in (these panelists really liked to talk!) the answers had changed from anecdotes to general interview advice.

Instead of recounting the ethical scenario from hell, I talked about how my interviewer had pointed out every single bad grade I had ever gotten to start off the interview ("To say you did poorly in undergrad is an understatement. A C- in bio, a D+ in ochem, and a D- in anthropology, among other things..."). I then discussed how it made me feel really low even though I'm not ashamed of those grades. It's a part of my past that I freely discuss with others. But the way he put it was very accusatory and I had not experienced being attacked for my GPA before so it caught me off-guard.

The moral of that story was to tell the applicants to do a mock interview with someone they don't know who will grill them on any part of the application that is even a tiny bit weak, or something they are insecure about. The chances of getting such an asshole for an interviewer are very small, but it does happen and you want to be prepared for it.

Some panelists were saying that studying for the MCAT was an all-encompassing ordeal where you have to think and study for the test all the time. I completely disagree with that and made sure to say that although you definitely need to make time for school, you also need an outlet as well as a motivator. The road to becoming a physician is long and overwhelming, so having a reminder of why you're doing this is incredibly important, as is having some sort of work-life balance.

For me, the outlet was rugby. Every Saturday morning was my rugby time and school was not even on my mind for those few hours. Volunteering in the hospital, on the other hand, was the thing that reminded me of my ultimate goal in all this, and kept my eye on the prize when having my nose in a book for months at a time seemed so depressing and pointless. This definitely hit home with at least one person who was completely defeated about the process of getting into medical school, so I'm glad I interjected.

The rest of the panel was rather uneventful. Answers dragged on way too long and were repetitive because everyone wanted to get a word in. I wish we could've led the discussion in that we could focus attention on the most important and stressful aspects of the application cycle, like writing bunches of secondary essays in a months' time, dealing with waiting and the unknown, and how to tailor interview answers to the schools' mission statements.

Instead, the pre-med students asked questions about things that to them seemed like a big deal (as they did to me when I was in their shoes) but in fact were less significant for people who had gone through the whole application process. On the other hand, I'm sure there are presentations during other times of the year for those things and pre-med students rarely get to ask their peers any question they want in an informal setting. So this panel appears to have served its purpose.

As for the panelists, of course there was the kid who showed up in scrubs, wouldn't stop giving terrible advice, and didn't hesitate to announce that he graduated 1.5 years early. Congrats, buddy! You think you know everything, but you haven't lived.

The non-trads in the corner (because of course we showed up last) had a peanut gallery going every time he spoke and towards the end of the panel we'd just talk over him to negate whatever bad answer he had given without even waiting for him to finish. I love how all of us older folk can see through the bullshit and have no qualms about offering an unpopular perspective on things. We're just trying to be real.

It was really weird to be on the other side of the whole medical school application process. It's taken me so long to get accepted, with the two-year post-bacc and two application cycles, that it still doesn't seem real that I'll be starting school in less than three months. Things like this, though, hammer it home. I'm so incredibly excited!

Done with writing

I just submitted the last of my secondary applications. Technically it's the second-to-last one because the dream school hasn't released theirs yet. But as of now, I have nothing looming over my head with regards to writing. And it feels fantastic!

In a nutshell, I applied to 27 schools, received 26 secondaries, and submitted 21 of them*. The five secondaries I didn't submit were mostly too long when compared to my chances of being accepted to those schools. So I put them aside and eventually decided not to fill them out at all.

Now that I'm done, I'm somewhat considering adding more schools since at this point I've written a response to nearly every prompt that could be asked. I currently only have one interview invite, which makes me nervous, so I feel the need to cast my net even wider than I already have.

But I have to remind myself that 21 schools is plenty enough and I should focus on other things such as preparing for my interview and looking for another job. So that's what I'll do after I relax a bit this weekend.

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*This includes the dream school that I haven't received or submitted yet. But they don't screen and I'm filling it out, so it goes in the stats.

Polar opposite of what I'm looking for

Since I applied to so many schools this cycle I've been getting a bit burned out with the essay-writing. As I do more extensive research on each school to tailor my responses accordingly, I'm realizing that a few of these places are not going to be good fits for me. So I put those applications on the back burner and get to them whenever I feel like writing more.

One school in particular is causing me lots of anguish with regards to making a decision on whether to finish the application or not.

It's the opposite of my ideal location* in nearly every way: region, weather, topography, and culture. And its secondary application is a beast.

On the other hand, I have a fairly decent chance of being accepted there because my stats are actually competitive. So I can't bring myself to rule it out entirely. Instead, I've been talking myself into finishing all the essays that are required simply for that reason. Beggars can't be choosers.

In order to stay positive about this school, I've been daydreaming (through rose-colored glasses, of course) about what it would really be like to live there. I like to compare it to a new kind of adventure, kind of like living abroad. I mean, I did say I was tiring of my current region so this could be the perfect solution.

So back to writing I go. By the way, I'm currently seven pages into a Word document (single spaced) for this particular secondary. And I still have two more essays to finish for it. A beast, I tell you. A beast.

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*After looking at a school's statistics to see if I even have a chance in hell of having my application not dumped directly into the trash, I've been considering other factors to decide whether to apply there or not. Location is a big one.

Although the school that I mention in this post is on the opposite side of perfect, there is no deal-breaker like the one that made me hate the second school at which I interviewed last cycle. So I'm giving it a chance when schools similar to the other one have been crossed off the list.

Just keep swimming

I'm slowly churning out these secondary essays. Although they're not being done as quickly as I would've liked, all but two have been submitted within two weeks of being received by me. That's not too shabby.

At this rate, I should have nearly everything done by August 1st. That's not "very early" in the cycle as I had planned, but it's a significant improvement from last year.

No way...

I just got an invitation to complete a secondary application from a school that heavily screens its applicants and takes very, very few out-of-state people. That's shocking.

I didn't get this invitation last cycle, so it looks like I'm already doing better this time around. There's hope!

Now onto the writing

My application was just verified by AMCAS and will be sent to medical schools beginning now. So I'm really only five days behind the super early birds. Not too shabby.

And so begins the mad essay writing...right before the 4th of July weekend. Good thing most of these are already pre-written so there's not too much work on my end.

Secondary essays, version 2.0

My primary application is days away from being sent to medical schools so within the next week or so I will have a buttload of essays to submit, with prompts such as, "How would you contribute to our medical school class?" and "What's the greatest challenge you have faced?"

I remember being so burnt out with this process last year that the thought of putting another word on paper (or, more accurately, typing it on my computer) was incredibly repulsive. It honestly took me about an hour to write "the perfect" sentence, which isn't so perfect now that I read over it a year later. There's lots of revising to do.

The biggest thing I've learned from this process is to tailor my answers to the mission and priorities of each medical school. Some schools are service-based and others are research-based so I need to emphasize those qualities in my essays depending on which school I'm applying to.

I have a lot of these essays to write (my current list is 24 schools long), but I'm definitely looking forward to them more than I did last year. This doesn't mean I want to write anything, because I actually really detest writing when there's something riding on my responses.

I'm excited to see where my application takes me, because I have a legitimate shot at getting interviews this time around. Hurray for starting early!

The shame of reapplying

I read an article today about how to structure an application as a reapplicant and it pretty much negates everything I thought I should do.

I personally am ashamed of not getting accepted to medical school last cycle and having to reapply this year. I cringe every time I have to tell somebody that I didn't get in. So I thought it'd be best to pretend that chapter of my life didn't occur. By that I mean, there is no mention of me being a reapplicant anywhere in my application (well, except for the box I have to check saying I'm reapplying).

Apparently, though, sometimes reapplying is looked upon favorably by admissions committees. It shows you're resilient and persistent and really want to pursue medicine as a career. I don't know how that's not evident from the fact that I practically quit my job a couple of years ago, spent thousands of dollars and hours on pre-requisite courses, and kicked butt in my classes and on my MCAT. But I guess I have to put that in words instead of showing it through my activities.

I've already submitted my primary application so there is no changing my personal statement. It would've been the perfect concluding paragraph. However, I have a second chance at communicating my persistence and resilience in the form of secondary applications. I'm sure I can find a way to mention this in most prompts so I still have a chance to let schools know I'm better for going through that experience.

I'm just glad I stumbled upon that article before I submitted all my materials and not after. All is not lost quite yet.

Submitted and excited

I just submitted my application to AMCAS for round 2 of trying to get into medical school and I'm kind of excited. I generally do much better with everything the second time around so I'm very hopeful that this will be the year*.

Also, I'm kind of annoyed and bored with my current city/state/region so the idea of possibly moving to another part of the country is incredibly thrilling. I'm kind of a nomad and get restless when I've spent a lot of time in one place, so five years here is plenty and I'm looking forward to going elsewhere.

It helps that I'm not entirely dreading writing more secondary essays or cover letters, so reapplying is not nearly as daunting as it was even a couple of months ago. Oh, what a difference a year of relaxation makes!

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*This only applies if I don't get in off the waitlist, of course, for which my chances are slowly dwindling. In general, I no longer quite believe I will start medical school in August so I've really started thinking about what I will be doing for the next year instead. And I'm getting super excited about the possibilities.

Quasi done-zo

I've finished up my secondary applications* (finally!) except for a few that I'm only doing to appease my mother, most of which I have absolutely no chance of being admitted to. Turning them in this late doesn't help in that respect but I told her I'd apply so I have to get them done eventually. And I don't particularly want to attend these schools in the first place so that's another reason not to get too worked up about most definitely being rejected without even an interview.**

Anywhos, remember my confidence about getting admitted this year? That's all about gone at this point because of the tardiness at being "complete" at all my schools.***

I'm actually starting to freak out a bit about possibly not getting in because so many people already have interview invites and/or have attended interviews and all I have is one measly email saying I've been moved to a "pool of applicants who potentially will be invited to interview with us."

That's not very hope-inducing but it does mean that the letter of recommendation I was worried about turned out to be pretty spectacular. It was either going to sink my application or make it (no in betweens) and I'm glad that it was the latter.

I don't know how I would've answered "How have you improved your application since the last time you submitted?" if I had to reapply. Umm...not piss off my letter-writer within a week of asking him to write it? I don't think that explanation would fly.

Also, pardon all the stars here but I'm using this post as a not-very-well-organized explanation of the medical school application process to people not familiar with it.

Lastly, here's the most recent Facebook meme I found hilarious:

If T. Rex had just one wish, he'd wish he could cuddle.

(Full disclosure: It's not the most recent, but the cleanest. I have one up my sleeve that's not exactly politically correct. I'll save it for when I'm feeling particularly feisty.)

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*For the non-medical school folk, after submitting the primary application that consists of a personal statement and description of extracurricular activities to the medical school application black hole, each school you have applied to can choose to send you a secondary/supplemental application that requires paying another fee but also often requires writing essays about greatest challenges, moral and ethical dilemmas, or your prized possessions. This has been the greatest hang-up for me because I absolutely hate formal writing that needs to put me in the best possible light.

**If schools really like you, they invite you for an interview. You can't get in without one. The earlier you get your application in, the better your chances of being asked to interview. And the earlier your interview, the more likely you'll be admitted (at most schools, at least).

***Being "complete" means having your MCAT scores and secondary/supplemental application submitted, paying the application fee for that specific school, and having all your letters of recommendation ready.

Existential crisis

One of my secondary applications asks, "If you couldn’t be a health professional, what occupation would you choose?" Simple enough, right? Wrong!

It derailed my entire afternoon.

I got to thinking about all the other careers I thought would be fun and cool and how medicine sucks the life out of you with its years of training and stress. And although I could do a lot with an MD even if I didn't end up working in a hospital or similar capacity, I couldn't figure out if the whole MD thing was worth it.

Then I stepped away from the romanticized view of my life, thought about it logically, and looked for themes within all these jobs.

Here's the deal. I love working with people. I love science. I love working within a group. And I love doing something that improves someone else's life. The problem with these criteria is that they can be applied to jobs that have nothing to do with medicine. And that's where the existential crisis comes into play.

But when I really think about it and stop considering escapist thoughts, medicine fits quite well with everything. No matter what job I decide to pursue, I will be busting my butt for the next 10+ years if I want the level of success I hope for. So I may as well be doing something I've been dreaming about since high school, the only thing that truly fulfills me, and stop being a wuss about making a commitment. Because ultimately that is what is causing all this fear.

And here's another question from this application that I just can't figure out an answer to: "What is your most prized possession?"

I can write a killer essay about moral dilemmas, being humbled, or overcoming a challenge, but for the life of me I just cannot think of a prized possession. Honestly, if my house was burning down, there is nothing I would run inside to rescue. Can I just say that I'm a minimalist?

And on a completely unrelated note, late late Monday night I was sitting on the couch watching "The Big Bang Theory" when I heard what sounded like a rabid dog attacking something that squeeled very loudly just outside my window. A normal person would go outside to chase it away. I ran upstairs and climbed into my roommate's bed. Yup, I'm fearless.

It turns out a mountain lion had eaten a neighborhood cat and was killed two blocks away by the animal control people because it had no fear of humans. So maybe it's a good thing I have an irrational fear of wildlife.

Fire under my butt

I've been sitting on my secondary applications much longer than I care to admit and I have finally found the urgency to get them done. I didn't realize just how long I'd been putting them off until I realized that it's almost September. Yikes!

So I've given myself a deadline of Thursday to get them all submitted. That puts me well beyond the arbitrary two weeks that people suggest but before the "late" crowd, so I've been told. Regardless, there is no way I can get them done any faster at this point (I'm already struggling with writing this much) so there's really no need to stress any more than I already am.

Regret seems to be my modus operandi and the way I choose to live my life, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that that feeling is becoming a major theme in this application cycle. Mostly it's regret at taking so long to fill things out that actually don't take that much time. But a lot of the regret stems from my college years o' fun, which I don't regret at the same time, so I kind of feel like I break even.

Anywhos, on a brighter and more analytical note, I did submit my secondary a couple of weeks ago to the one school I REALLY want to get into. So that one was relatively on time. The main reason why I haven't been quick about the rest of these is because I honestly don't care where I end up, short of the #1 school. So if I don't get into some school because I submitted my secondary 10 days later* than I had originally planned, I won't be too torn up about it since it didn't really have that soft spot in my heart.

Maybe I need to stop being so cocky about this whole application process. I don't know for sure that I'll be getting in anywhere so I should be maximizing my chances at each of the schools to which I'm applying. But for some reason I'm lacking in the motivation department. A rejection or two from a "safety" school would probably help with that, but I don't really want to wish that upon myself just to make me more efficient.

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*Another coping mechanism I'm using is that my committee letter wasn't ready until August 17th, so even if I had submitted secondaries prior to that, my application wouldn't have been considered until then. So I'm really only about 10 days behind at this point, which in the grand scheme of things isn't that bad.

If you can't tell, I can make myself feel better about these types of things by convincing myself it had to be that way. It's a pretty effective coping mechanism.

What I'm currently thinking about

With my primary application being verified any day now resulting in a flood of secondaries I have yet to even begin, I should be focusing on getting into a writing mode to churn these babies out. I should be worried about the length of time it'll take my pre-med committee to send in my committee letter to the medical schools so I can finally be considered for interviews. And I should be bummed that I am no longer "early" in the application process, and thus my chances of acceptance are a bit lower than I would like them to be.

Instead, I'm stressing over where the creator and writer of my new favorite TV show "White Collar" are taking the series and whether it'll be around for a few more seasons because it is just plain AWESOME. I can't wait for August 14th not because I will be that much closer to having a complete application at the medical schools to which I'm applying, but because that's when the next episode of "White Collar" will air.

Priorities, right?

P.S. "White Collar" is an amazing TV show about a con man who now works for the FBI agent who caught him. It basically picks up where the movie "Catch Me If You Can" (with Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks) left off and runs with it. The con man and FBI agent have amazing chemistry, there are plenty of hilarious one-liners, and it's just very smartly written. The main character is ridiculously pretty (Matt Bomer from "Magic Mike" plays the con man) and the story lines are engaging. In short, it's a winning show and you should definitely start watching it.

Just start with the pilot and you'll be hooked.