Trial by fire

At School E, we get assigned a preceptor whose office we will work at throughout the year practicing taking patient histories and conducting a physical exam.

I was hoping to get someone in a surgical subspecialty such as orthopedics, ENT, or plastics. We don't do 3rd year rotations in those fields and I'd like to get some exposure to them to see if they're something I'd enjoy doing. Having a preceptor in any of those fields would kill two birds with one stone: practicing patient care and seeing what their clinics are like.

Be careful what you wish for because I did get a preceptor in a surgical subspecialty: urology.

My first experience interviewing patients will be asking them about their private part problems. This shouldn't be awkward at all.

Medical school has changed me

"We have three days before the exam. That's plenty of time to learn it all."

Words I never thought I'd say until I saw how much I can absorb in such a short amount of time.


Also, my reasons for being excited about the weekend have changed dramatically.

Before medical school:
"Let's go camping. Or take a brew tour. Or just relax in the yard."

In medical school:
"Phew. We have two full days without any new information being thrown at us. I may actually be able to catch up this weekend. Sweet!"

Mortui vivos docent - The dead teach the living

Earlier this week we started anatomy lab. I hate it.

Part of the reason is the ridiculous inefficiency of it. We have no idea what we're doing so everything takes us so freaking long.

The other, more disturbing reason is that I can't bring myself to cut into our cadaver, Ms. Judy. Her fingernails are painted bright red. She has that wonderful short, curly hair that's popular among elderly women. Her muscles are tiny and she has mild scoliosis. Today we took a chisel and hammer to her back and knocked out her spine. How is that normal?

I understand it was her intent to donate her body in death for me to learn and help the living. But I cannot get over the feeling that I'm disrespecting her and mutilating her body. I cannot separate her being from the body that is lying in front of me. Did this frail, old woman know that this was what she was signing up for?

My dislike of dissection is not necessarily a fear of death. I've seen people die. I've worked on people who are dying. The newly dead aren't a problem for me, and the same goes for patients in surgery. The work of a surgeon is helping his patient in one way or another. Ms. Judy, on the other hand, is being taken apart piece by piece in a rather crude manner. It sucks.

My lab mates, on the other hand, have been incredible. They've done all the work the last couple of days while I've stood in the background adjusting their masks, hair, and goggles. I've benefited from their work because although I have no desire to cut our cadaver, it's pretty awesome to see the structures demonstrated on a human body.

Every time I glance at Ms. Judy's beautifully manicured fingernails, I remind myself that this was her exact intent. She wanted us to take her apart so we could better understand how she is put together. She may have not known the details of what it would take for us to learn, but her end-goal was clear.

I cannot let her incredible gift go to waste, so I suck it up and do what Ms. Judy would've wanted: learn about the human body by putting my hands inside her newly exposed spine.

Responsibility

While it still hasn't hit me that I'm actually starting medical school, it's slowly starting to dawn on me that I am, sometime in the near future, going to be a doctor. That is a scary thought.

Amongst all the mingling, retreating, and picnicking, we've had a few serious talks at orientation and our White Coat ceremony about what it means to be a doctor.

Our keynote speaker described the first patient that he treated. Our dean spoke about the impact his patients' words of thanks have had on him. And our orientation included a history of the impact our medical school and its doctors have had on the surrounding community.

Every single one of these instances sent shivers down my spine. The quality of my work will no longer just affect my professional reputation or a potential bonus. A good day on the job could have tangible effects on another person's life and future, as could a bad day. I have never felt such a great sense of responsibility before and it's thrilling.

So although it still feels like I'm on vacation meeting new people in a new city and the "first day of medical school" seems very surreal, I am keenly aware of the responsibility that I will acquire once I get an MD after my name in four very short years.

I am incredibly excited, but at the same time very terrified. I'm in for a wild ride.

Road tripping

Since I'm unwilling to part with any of my furniture, I decided to schlep it halfway across the country in a moving truck. The drive to School E took three days, although we could've easily done it in two if we had hurried up.

My dad drove with me so we decided to take it easy and turn this journey into a road trip instead of a straight-shot to City E. I am so glad we did because driving a 16' moving truck while towing a car turned out to be rather fun. I didn't want it to end.

My rides.

We hit a beautiful thunderstorm the first evening just as the sun was setting. It was preceded by this rainbow, which the picture just doesn't do justice.

The lightning storm resembled a light show. There were strikes all around us every few seconds even before we hit any rain. So we cruised along at full speed, mesmerized by the awesome forces of nature.

Then it started pouring and the cab of the truck started leaking, which made the storm a little less enjoyable but incredible nonetheless. We still had a lot of driving ahead of us that night since we'd left so late in the afternoon so the storm was a great way to wake up a little and enjoy the long slog into Texas.

Once we crossed the state line, we knew we were in Texas. The waffle machine at the hotel the next morning made sure to remind us just how great this state really is.

In Texas, even the waffles have state pride.

We were smack in the middle of nowhere at midday of Day 2 when the "Check Engine" light turned on. We had another 10 miles to the closest "town" so we slowed down to the recommended speed limit for the truck+trailer combo and hoped the truck wouldn't stall on us.

Penske has a great road-side assistance system so we called them asking for help. They tried locating us by town name to send someone out but we were so isolated that they had to trace the GPS on my phone because BFE, TX wasn't showing up on their maps.

In the end, it turned out to be nothing. The truck ran fine so they said to continue on to the next real city where they would have someone take a look at it. Since this was already going to be a short day (~7 hours driving) and we had left relatively early (10 am), we had plenty of time and very little stress about the whole situation.

For lunch we did the proper Texas thing and stopped at an incredible BBQ restaurant. Not only was the food delicious, cafeteria-style, and filled with real Texan cowboys, it also had ample parking for our truck+trailer+car monstrosity. By that I mean, we didn't have to reverse to get out of there.

The Branding Iron in Wichita Falls, TX. Go there!

After a slight detour to the Penske service station where they confirmed what the people over the phone had said regarding the "Check Engine" light (no biggie, keep driving), we made it to our hotel by 7 pm.

Then we noticed there was a rodeo going on next door at the Rodeo Capital of Texas. How can you not go? So my dad and I put on our most rodeo-like clothes (jeans and a t-shirt) and had a fantastic time!

The whole thing began with a prayer. It wasn't just any prayer, though. It was introduced as, "They have taken prayer out of our businesses and out of our schools, but by God they are not taking the prayer out of our rodeo!" A little girl sang the national anthem (of course) and then the rodeo began.

When your hotel just happens to be next door to the Rodeo Capital of Texas.

I'd never been to a rodeo before, but I had watched the PBR on TV a few times. The live version was at times better and more entertaining. For example, one horse just refused to buck. He exited the chutes and kind of stood there. He had one half-assed attempt at bucking but that was about it. Longest 8 seconds of the whole night.

They also had a few kids, ~11-13 years old, riding mini bulls (whatever the proper term may be). None of them lasted the whole time but it was crazy to see such young boys on these animals. The little kids riding sheep (mutton busting) was also hilarious mostly because it's just so weird.

Google image, but that's how it looked at our rodeo

The rest of the road trip was uneventful. We drove through some beautiful landscapes, listened to tunes, and talked. It was great to spend so much time on the road with my dad. We took a lot of road trips with my family growing up, but I haven't taken one alone with my dad in ages and it was so much fun. He and my mom are already planning a trip out here for Thanksgiving to drive around State E some more since there's so much left to see.

After the road trip was done, my dad stayed around to help me move in and explore a bit of City E. Mostly, he reassured me that the house I chose is much better than my old one even if I don't seem to think so. In fact, I hated this place so much when I walked in the door that I considered not even unpacking my boxes and immediately looking elsewhere for a place to live.

Needless to say, I'm still here and I don't see myself moving in the next 4 years. That's not because I like this house (it hasn't grown on me that much). I just really hate moving.