Shadowing in the OR

This week I shadowed an orthopedic surgeon in the operating room and watched him do two cases. At first, I was a bit grossed out by seeing the surgical fellow pull on stuff inside the dude's knee, mostly because I was imagining how much it would hurt to have my tendons stretched like that. But then I remembered the patient had a nerve block, was under general anesthesia, and was prescribed some serious pain killers for recovery, and the feeling of empathetic pain went away.

For the first procedure, I had some decent questions to ask the surgeon because I have a bit of background with that injury and knew generally what to ask. So it wasn't so awkward. But the second procedure consisted of me standing quietly in the corner not saying a word, until the surgeon mentioned he had lived in Italy and I inquired where because I, too, had lived in Italy recently. Other than that, I kept my mouth shut, which is not the way to go apparently.

My interactions didn't get any better after that, and instead I managed to communicate the fact that my undergrad GPA was crap and that I don't like evening classes, which resulted in the surgeon chuckling a bit under his breath. Oops. Way to make a good impression. Not! I should just learn to keep my mouth shut.

One of the biggest issues I had with shadowing was not knowing when it was ok to ask questions. The surgeon also had a fellow doing most of the work so he was teaching a fair amount of the time, and I didn't want to interrupt that. He was also doing a lot of shop talk with the biomedical sales reps so that didn't seem like a good time to interject with a question. But there was also a lot of silence, so I can't use all that as an excuse.

My other problems included not being prepared for the second procedure, and being too afraid to ask "stupid" questions. The thing is, as a pre-med, I'm not expected to know anything so unless I'm asking things like "What the heck is a shoulder?", my questions most likely aren't perceived as idiotic.

I'm generally a very curious person, so why do I have such difficulty being around doctors? Why am I so quiet and insecure about medicine? These are the questions to answer.

And since this was supposed to be a learning opportunity, here are some lessons learned:

1. Being prepared is always a good thing.
   I should have looked up the second procedure before I observed one because then maybe I could've asked some decently intelligent questions.
2. I don't have to come off as awesome all the time.
   I need to stop being afraid to ask seemingly stupid questions. Usually, they're not stupid and I have a right not to know the answer.
3. Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
   I need to learn to paint myself in the best possible light and stay away from the self-deprecating talk. I shouldn't lay out my flaws for everyone to see.
4. Doctors usually like teaching.
   This especially applies to those at teaching hospitals and those who take on fellows, so I should not be too intimidated to ask questions. They are most likely more than happy to answer them. At least that has been my experience with all the doctors I've encountered. They've been pretty awesome.

I may ask to shadow this same surgeon again over the summer to see a joint replacement. The two procedures I had yesterday were mostly arthroscopic so replacements would be a nice change. And it would give me a shot at redemption.

Mostly, I want a re-do because if I get into the local medical school, I will most likely be asking to do research with this surgeon. So I need to make a better impression of preparedness than I did this time.

Oh, I almost forgot to add...I posted a thread about this to SDN and this was one of the replies:

Physicians will know that a college student won't know much medicine/surgery, so don't be afraid to ask basic questions. It would be strange to NOT ask questions at your stage.

I guess I was the strange kid in the corner then. Oops.

The good part was that I was fairly animated outside of the operating room, except by that point, I had verbal diarrhea. Here I go with the self-deprecation again. It's a vicious cycle, I tell ya!

Preparing for the committee letter interview

The pre-health advising office at the university at which I'm doing my post-baccalaureate courses (what a mouthful!) writes an all-encompassing "report" on us called a committee letter that is sent along with our letters of recommendation to all the medical schools to which we apply. It's kind of an overall assessment of our candidacy for medical school and includes their take on whether we have the qualities of a good doctor.

As part of the process of getting a committee letter written, we had to complete an appraisal packet that was composed of questions such as the following:

• What characteristics do you have that will make you good at your chosen profession?
• From what situation, experience or interaction have you learned the most about yourself?
• Describe an example of a time when you showed intellectual curiosity, problem-solving and/or self-directed learning in any area.

These allow our committee to get to know us better and write a more effective and complete letter.

Anywhos, my interview is in two days and I'm starting to prepare my responses to common questions I know they'll ask, such as "Why do you want to be a doctor?" and ethical dilemmas, as well as greatest strengths and weaknesses questions.

Most of these answers are pretty straightforward but I'm having a really difficult time thinking up a 5-minute speech on why I want to be a doctor. Mostly, this problem stems from the fact that I have answered this question in my personal essay and in two questions on the self-appraisal packet, so I can't think of anything original to add to that. Obviously I want to bring in some new information so it's not just a regurgitation of the things the interviewers have in front of them, but I went all out on that packet and don't have much more to give, at least not convincingly.

I think the solution is to stick with what I've written previously and just organize my response well. Hopefully I'll think of a few examples that are different enough from my earlier answers that the interviewers get some new ammo for that committee letter. In short, it's time to wrack my brain!

MCAT issues

Sometimes this blog is written just for me to figure out plans of doing things a certain way in order to simplify my life. This is one of those posts, so feel free to ignore it.

I'm having some major problems retaining all the information needed for the MCAT. Reactants and conditions are not staying in my head for organic chemistry, and concepts I found easy in my general chemistry class are just not sticking. So I've formulated a new plan to make me remember all this stuff.

Here it is:

• Compile one-page "cheat sheets" for each chapter of each subject that include vital conceptual information as well as equations and tricks for solving MCAT problems quickly.
• Create examples of how to solve recurring types of problems unique to each chapter, with worked out solutions.
• Write up all the organic chemistry equations that are necessary for the MCAT.
• Review one chapter a day of all subjects. Rinse and repeat.

Since I do best when I have to do things over and over again, I hope that going over these home-made worksheets daily will help me retain this large volume of information, and will provide a great way to organize everything in my head. And 1 - 2 pages for each subject turns into ~8 pages total a day. That shouldn't be too hard.

Now if studying for the verbal section was this simple, I'd be set!

Something has to change

Lately I've been feeling like I constantly have my nose in a book and that my life is class, study, sleep, and repeat. Work should be in there as well, but I just haven't been able to fit it in. And even with such a bare-bones schedule, I've been sleeping very little so clearly this isn't working for me.

I thought about this last night and realized that I actually do have enough hours in the day to accomplish everything and still have a reasonable life. I just have to be more efficient and not waste so much time.

So I've proposed a new schedule for myself where I am super productive from 9 to 6 and then can be as lazy as I want. I think I need that separation of life and school/work to be sane, otherwise I'm going to go crazy with stress, as has been the case these past few weeks. With dedicated relaxation time that won't be interrupted by school and/or work, I won't feel the need to squeeze in a show here or there, which is my downfall with regards to productivity.

And of course, like every other plan I commit to, this will have to start after this series of exams is done. So until next Wednesday, I continue to have no life.

!!!

Received tonight at 11:44 pm*:

Looks like Option 1 from my previous post is actually going to happen. Happy days!

*Pardon the stars and redactions. One of the forms we have to sign deals with not releasing the location of the ship until we have left the area. And another one says we need to run everything we plan to write about the trip by the coordinator. The details omitted from the copied email aren't pertinent to this blog post and thus have been removed.

Summer abroad

Originally I had planned to apply to only one summer program abroad and leave it at that. If I didn't get in, then I'd enjoy the peace and freedom of this summer here in town. But, a friend of mine has forwarded another opportunity on to me about a group leader position in a huge number of countries that would last about 5 weeks. It'd be a great reason for me to go back to Europe and visit my family, because it doesn't look like the sailing trip is going to happen the way I had hoped.

So here are the two programs I'm applying or have applied to:

1. A humanitarian mission aboard the USNS Mercy, run by the UCSD Pre-Dental Society
   This organization partners with the U.S. Navy to provide medical staff and volunteer assistants for missions abroad aboard a hospital ship. This summer they will be traveling to Southeast Asia, visiting Indonesia, Philippines, Vietnam, and Cambodia for about 4 months total (2 weeks at each site plus a few days of transit between countries). I've applied for the whole summer but if I am chosen for only two sites then I requested Vietnam and Cambodia because it would give me more time and lee-way for MCAT studying (in case I have to push it back...again), AMCAS submission, and writing secondaries. I've been told by someone who does these kinds of missions regularly that I should go for the duration of whole thing if I have the opportunity because it's a once in a lifetime experience, but I would also like to have some time to be at home during the summer. It's fun over here. As of a week ago, they had received my application and now it's a waiting game. If I don't hear back within the next 2 - 3 weeks then I'll email them for an update but for now, I sit and wait and fret. I REALLY want to do this. It's right up my alley!
2. The Experiment in International Living, as a group leader for high school students
   This group plans homestays for high school students in countries around the world, and is in need of group leaders to be the contacts for these students when they're abroad. It would be the perfect opportunity to go back to Europe (or maybe even Australia) and live with a family and experience the international life I've been missing since I moved back to the States. I wish my Italian was better because then I could go to Florence, too!

Those are the plans, at least the international ones, for the summer. If I do end up staying here in town, I may volunteer at a summer camp for cancer kids, which is something I've been wanting to do since undergrad but just haven't had the time to do. Or, I may take an Italian summer course so I can take the more advanced language classes during fall and spring. Or I may just go camping a lot. Man, I'm already dreaming of the freedom I'll have once my MCAT and AMCAS are done!

No pressure

This weekend a few friends from the summer camp I used to work at and I rented a condo in the mountains to have a few days away from the hustle and bustle of life. It was awesome! We lounged in the condo (I still can't ski because of my knee), did puzzles, played Settlers, and laughed our butts off.

I had an absolute blast, but as soon as I got back home I began thinking of all the MCAT studying I should have done this weekend and then I got sad. If I don't get into the local medical school, all these friends will no longer be a part of my life and that's depressing. And this thinking just exacerbates the problem I have with leaving my brother.

In short, I have so many reasons to stay here and that stresses me out because now, I have to get into this medical school! And to do that, I need to do really well on the MCAT. No pressure.

Going back to my old ways

I skipped class today because I couldn't find parking. Seriously. And instead of being productive during that extra hour, I watched last night's episode of "Parenthood", read all my usual websites and blogs, and am now updating the blogs that I write for myself. And that's three hours gone that I could've been studying for the MCAT, doing biochem homework, or working. Oops.

Plans for the "Gap Year"

Because I'm a planner, I'm already thinking of ways to spend the year between the time I submit my medical school application in early June and the day I (hopefully) matriculate in August of the following year. And right now I'm torn.

Part of me wants to do something clinical or medical just because. But another part of me wants to say "Screw it!" and mess around during that time. I'm already planning a month-long trip abroad for next February or March, but I'm also thinking of extending that and making it more of a 6-month trip. All of this is obviously dependent on the success of my application cycle, but for once I'm leaning towards the optimistic side of things and thinking I'll get in somewhere and won't have to spend the year building up my application for another cycle.

For example, if I don't get into my local medical school, I am less likely to move abroad for the 6 months that I'm dreaming of. Even though I haven't hung out with my brother much lately (and by that I mean, at all), I still would like to maximize the time I see him if I have to move. And that means hanging around here until I go away to school elsewhere.

I love where I live and life is becoming pretty awesome lately, so this wouldn't be too bad of an option, but I still would like to get away if I'm going to be bogged down with school come late summer. I need a vacation like crazy and this would be the perfect time.

But, if I were to have an acceptance to the school here, I could go away for a long time and not feel guilty about missing out on bonding time with family. Most likely, though, I will have to make this decision in a year's time when more of these things are clear. And that means having plenty of back-up options and multiple planned vacations so once I know what's going on, I can get on with whichever idea sounds the best.

A collection of BROOMBALL! photos

There's so much medical school talk on this blog that I feel the need to add in some photos of my other passion: BROOMBALL!!! It's what gets me through the winter and it keeps me feeling young.

With the regular season wrapping up, it's time to post an assortment of photos from my teams. Yes, you read that right, it's plural.

Onesies.

Camouflage theme, complete with face paint.

A close-up of our awesome face-painting skillz.

Tooth fairies.

Face-off at center ice. That's our (male) captain on the left.

There is plenty more where this came from, so I'll keep adding when I need the study break. Stay young, people!