Another year of residency over, and I can't quite put a feeling to it. It's weird finally progressing in this medical path, rather than treading water or feeling like floor will fall out from under me at any time.
All I've ever known as a resident is how to be an intern (or a research assistant, which was surprisingly similar to being an intern). And now, that's over, and I truly can't believe \that I will never, ever, in my entire life be an intern again. It's so surreal.
No more SICU, no more trauma, no more NG tubes, and no more abusive General Surgery scheduling (if you couldn't tell, I HATE general surgery). Also, no more floor pager, no more dispo meetings, and the list goes on.
With the whole not matching thing (twice), I've felt like I was in purgatory for the past several years: busting my ass but getting nowhere. Same responsibilities (or lack thereof), same bitch work, same shitty schedule. And the same need (and resulting anxiety) to impress everyone because my career depended entirely on what others thought of me.
But now, progress.
While my schedule won't get too much better and the bitchwork will continue for a while longer, things feel SO MUCH different.
I'm one year closer to being done, and that fact alone makes all the difference. With every year that I didn't match, the finish line kept getting pushed farther back and was, at times, impossible to even see.
Now, I will ACTUALLY be an orthopaedic surgeon...in 4 short years. It's so exciting and terrifying at the same time.
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