In denial

Summer session will end tomorrow. I have one more final to get through in the morning, and then I'm on my way to catch a flight to California for a much-needed vacation. But for some reason, I can't force myself to study. All week I've been in denial about this final and the one I had yesterday. I know I don't have everything memorized or learned as well as I'd like to. I definitely need to put in a lot more time than I have all week. And simply getting an A in the class is not going to be enough. I'm getting a letter of recommendation from this professor and he puts our rank in there. And I need glowing recommendations to have any hope of getting into medical school. Right now, I'm at the very, very top of the class, and I'd hate for my laziness to be the only thing that'll bring me down.

Yet, I still seem distracted. I'm too excited about this California trip and I'm also kind of stressing about my doctor's appointment tomorrow. You see, about six weeks ago I hurt my wrist pretty badly. I eventually went to see a hand specialist and he said it's probably just a really bad sprain based on the x-rays and the places my wrist was hurting. Ever since the injury, I've been going back and forth between thinking that's it's nothing and will heal slowly, and thoughts of something being torn and needing surgery.

I've scoured the internet, but there's really nothing on there that's helpful. I got an MRI yesterday and I'm going to see my guy again tomorrow to hear the results. At this point, I'm pretty convinced that it's just a sprain since it hasn't been hurting much since the MRI (and by that I mean, at all). And that's what makes me think all this pain is in my head. Like, when I convince myself I tore a ligament or cartilage, my wrist throbs all day. But when I think that it's all healed, I can function for the most part without my splint. I'm mostly concerned that I cried wolf, and got an MRI for no reason, and the hand surgeon was right a month ago when he said it's just a sprain, a bad one, but just a sprain nonetheless. I hate being "that girl" that insists on more imaging than is necessary. I just want this darn thing back to normal!

So yeah, those last two paragraphs are what has been going through my head on repeat all week instead of organic chemistry. And that's not good, since I am capable of doing really well on this final, if only I put some more hours into it today.

Oh, and this wrist injury has seriously made me consider going into ortho as a specialty. I've seen enough orthopedic surgeons in my lifetime that it's always been in the back of my mind, but hand surgery has always stuck out as one of the more interesting aspects of the specialty. Depending on how my appointment goes tomorrow (if it's my last one or if I have another follow-up), I think I'm going to ask my doctor if I can shadow him. The worst that can happen is he'll decline, and considering he had someone shadowing him during my first visit, I think he may be ok with it. Granted, that was a medical student and he may not have time for a lowly pre-med, but it really doesn't hurt to ask.

Lastly, here is a video of how I hurt my wrist. I'm the one coming down the middle screaming "Coming through!" While going down a slip-n-slide down a ski slope at full speed at a Tough Mudder event, I got my fingers caught in the tarp while my body kept going. Massive pain ensued.