I just finished my last exam of the first year of medical school. That's crazy talk.
I remember the first week as if it was yesterday. I was so overwhelmed and exhausted even though in hindsight we really didn't do that much. I questioned my decision to go to medical school and seriously considered taking it all back. If the first week was so hard and everyone says it only gets worse, I couldn't comprehend how I could (or wanted to) handle the next decade of my life.
Obviously, I've stuck it out. I got used to the course load and I've (somewhat) found my people. Most importantly, I've gotten to see and do some incredible stuff.
Last week, a Parkinson's patient turned off her deep brain stimulator so I could see the untreated symptoms of her disease. The change was immediate and quite shocking.
Tomorrow, I'm going to perform physicals and clear high school students for summer and fall sports.
And next week I'm going to scrub in and assist in putting a rod into a patient's leg after it was shattered by a bullet.
Even though I'm still convinced I know nothing, I'm starting to speak the language of medicine. I recognize and make sense of diseases that were a jumble of words just several months ago. Things are starting to make sense and it's so exciting to be able to understand some of the mechanisms behind the most common medical issues.
I've also experienced the power of the white coat. Within three weeks of starting school, I was being thanked by a woman for participating in the care of her husband who had just been diagnosed with cancer. Little did she know that I had just met my preceptor 30 minutes ago and was listening to the biopsy results with the same deer-in-the-headlights look that she and the patient had. The only difference between us was the white coat on my shoulders and three weeks of anatomy, neither of which prepared me to speak with any sort of authority on her husband's condition. But that white coat made all the difference.
I've progressively become more comfortable in my role as a medical student, but seeing the change in people's reactions whenever I wear the white coat hasn't gotten any less weird. Whether it's a patient and their family treating me like an equal member of the medical team when I walk into a room, or a car stopping for me at a crosswalk instead of gunning it through the light. It all still trips me out.
All in all, it's been a wild ride and I cannot wait to see what the future will bring!
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P.S. Although I'm no longer an M1 (first year medical student, in med-speak), that doesn't mean we're off for the summer quite yet. We have one M2 block remaining before we break until August. It's apparently three weeks of torture, especially after this last block which was affectionately called "Neurocation". And neurocation I did.
